Sunday, December 27, 2009

Being a good samaritan

In case you didn't know, Oklahoma had it's worst snow in one day last week, on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, everyone in my family made it safely to my grandpa's thanks for 4wd, well except for my sister, who made it safely, but only after being pulled up a hill by a farmer.

Yesterday, it was ten times worse, as the temps are getting up to 40, and then all the slush is packing down to ice and refreezing on the hills. As we were heading up this steep, but staggered hill, we saw that there were 2 cars in the ditch, and one flipped over. Then we saw that there were people climbing out of the one flipped over.

I told Chance to pull over and I ran over to them, only falling once on the slick hill. : ) I get there and it's three kids, and their older father. The littlest girl is just in hysterics, she was probably 4 or 5, the middle boy was 7 or 8, and I think he was impressed, and the oldest girl, who I think was probably the surrogate mom, was in shock. She was 12 or 13. The dad was in major shock. I started gathering these kids up, as they are bleeding, and/or crying. I looked at him and said, I'm taking your kids up there. He never even looked at me.

I used snow and McDonald's napkins to clean their cuts as we waited in our warm truck for the wrecker and ambulance. Archer was extremely curious as to what these kids were doing in the backseat with him. I tried to talk to them, and the girls were still pretty shaken up, so the boy answered most of the questions. He was abuzz with excitement, maybe because he was a boy, or maybe just the age; but his response was so extremely different from his sisters.

The whole rest of the way to Chance's parents I was on edge. Even though we have giant tires and 4wd, I was just scared and anxious that something would happen. It's kind of funny how we can be so oblivious to even the most obvious thing. Like, this is the 2nd time we've stopped to help someone who had rolled over on ice, and it made me feel a little more unsure about being out on the ice both times, even though Chance assured me we were safe.

Of course, later then he got his miniature monster truck stuck in mud and snow, which had me a little panicked. "If he can get stuck, surely we can wreck on ice too" was rushing through my mind. I guess I'm just a panicker.

Either way, made it home safely, roads were salted, sanded, and even a little dirt and hay were strewn about. Now, lets hope there's no snow next week like Jed is saying!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Wall Decorations for Bedroom

Just wanted to share pictures of the decorations I bought.

I love this one.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Redecorating my bedroom!

While I do realize it's probably dumb to buy things to decorate with this close to Christmas, everything is on sale at Hobby Lobby. I never really got to decorate our house because we were just too stinking poor to do it before now.

So, I went with my mom yesterday so that she could buy her Dirty Santa present for my Poppy's house and I got some things for the living room and the bedroom.

I think I want to do the bedroom in vintage prints and black and white, so I got this frame that says I Love You and J'taime all over it. It's metal and painted a distressed white. I also got this chandelier print with red and a bird on it.

While browsing last night, I found this awesome comforter at walmart. And this neat chandelier at Target.

The chandelier says it's best used in a hallway, but I'm not convinced. : )

I told Chance I would wait until my next pay period to splurge on all of this, but I really want it now!!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sometimes something intervenes?

Whether you believe in God, fate, or whatever, you have to admit that coincidinces sometimes just seem to good to be true.

As you know, I have been studying my butt off because of my extreme procratinator tendencies. Well, earlier today, one of the Hb momma's had an application post something into the news feed. It was called God Wants you to Know Today (or something similar). The post said, God wants you to know that your stress and worries are best turned over to him. Give over your anxieties of the future and rest well tonight. The post almost got a little horoscope-ish, or even fortune cookie-ish, but it was what I needed to hear.

While I'm still studying, and reading my book, I'm not going to be anxious about it. If I fail this class, then I'll take it again next semester. As sucky as that is, it's life I guess.

And while my mind is not as stressed, I wish it would send a message to my rock hard, aching shoulders to release a little of the hold they have on me.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

School Stress

So, I'm on the verge of freaking out.

I still have 12 quizzes left to do BY MONDAY for one of my stinking online classes, and the site is down.

I can read and study, whatever, but the quizzes have to be finished before I can take the exam.

I hate that I am such an awful procrastinator. It is my fault for sure, but this class is a little different. I didn't get the $150 book for a long time because my scholarship foundation took forever to pay me; and even though I started work in September, I didn't get paid until November.

Ugh, I need a massage to release some of the massive tension.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I am so completely overwhelmed...

I am kicking myself in the behind for not staying on top of my homework all through the year on these dang online classes!

I have two tests to take, 12 quizzes, and several discussions/observations to turn in. I can take an incomplete in only one class to continue recieving funding. I asked the teacher for my psych class if he would let me take an incomplete through break, I pray that he does.

Otherwise, this is going to be the strictest most hard core weekend ever.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

How many words?

I was starting to worry about Archer and his word level being too low. But just in the past few weeks his language skills have exploded.

Here are the real words he's using:
-Ami (My sister's name is Kami)
-BeBe (While pointing to his belly button)
-Poopy (When asked if he's poopy he says it, but doesn't tell us)
-Numnum (For food)

Psuedo Words
-GooGoo (For something to eat or drink, it's multi purpose.)

Friday, December 4, 2009

Got some great news today!

After basically deciding that after this spring I was going to stop going to school for a while, I learned today that I only have spring, summer, and then my practicum this fall. While a year really and truly is a long time, when you break it down like that, it doesn't seem that long. Of course, all the papers and tests, and driving will suck, but at least I will get more and a better job out of it in the long run! : )

After I talked to my advisor, I talked to one of the counselors at my school who said he would be happy to help me! I even talked to my supervisor about staying at this school and not having to change in the fall so that I can do my practicum there, and she said that was doable!

I'm really excited. I would be even more excited if not for the fact that tomorrow consists of homework ALL DAY!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I hate Christmas...

Well, not the holiday, and definitely not the meaning I hold true to; but most definitely the commerical aspect of it.

Don't get me wrong, for the first time EVER we can afford to blow a little money on our neices and nephews. We got Archer 2 little presents and a big one.

The stinky thing is, we spent $270!! That's only $20 a kid (plus the $10 I put in the salvation army bucket), and then Archer's presents. I immediately called my sister and told her to stop reproducing, I couldn't afford to buy gifts for her children. (Jokingly only, mostly)

I hate that society makes me feel bad for not doing this. I hate that we as a society let ourselves be sucked into this, we must spend money on our and other children. That's just not the way I want to be. I want my child to appreciate the meaning I hold dear to Christmas, and if for some reason, he chooses not to follow my beliefs, I would at least like for him to hone in on the importance of spending time with family, not blowing obscene amounts of money on gifts.

There's my soap box for the day.

On the upside, I have the gift for my grandpa's house (we play Dirty Santa), Archer's, Chance's, and our families. So, even though I gave in to the norm and spent money my heart just wasn't in, I only have two more things to buy! lol

Thursday, November 19, 2009


You know those people you can really let it all hang out and be the real you around. My best friend is the kind of person that I can tell anything to. We have mutual friends, and it's not a big deal.

I have this other friend, who I love. She is literally like sunshine. the problem with that is, everyone loves her. She has more friends than I even know of people. This is the girl I have previously referred to as Alice Cullen.

I was invited to a surprise birthday party for her by her best friend from HS. She knows something is going on, not sure what exactly, but she knows of something, and begged that I come. We haven't seen each other in a few months. I would love to see her, but I'm just not sure if I fit in with the rest of her friends. We do have mutual friends, and I have met most of the ones I'm not friends with, I just am not interested in being at a dinner with a bunch of people I feel are going to stare at me, KWIM?

Hopefully, it won't be like what I am dreading. Plus my BFF is going with me for moral support!! : )

Friday, October 30, 2009

Bombs, wars, and nuclear hystera.

I'm sitting here at work, listening to bombs blasting in the distance. It's disconcerting, even knowing that it's only for training; that the sounds won't be coming any closer. I can hear the blasting sounds from my house, 50 miles away, but working in a military town, just 5 miles from a military base has allowed me to ponder some things.

Can you imagine not knowing whether or not that sound was ebbing closer to you after a night of raids? Can you imagine being in an active war zone, where you can't even guess if you'll have a home, family or even be alive yourself from day to day?

I've been really trying to plan some weekends with family in the up coming months; trying to see everyone who won't be able to make it for the Holidays. Can you imagine not knowing if your tomorrow brings life, more or less a trip out to eat with relatives? Can you imagine not even knowing if your relatives are alive, because they might live near where the blasting sounds are coming from?

Isn't that a frightening thought? We consider the unknown bad when we might be a little short on bill money. There are people this very second, and their unknown is, will I survive the day.

I can remember after 9/11 having to read Alas Babylon. What a traumatizing thing for a teacher to do. The entire country is on the brink of mass hysteria, and she forces us to read a book detailing a nuclear war, and the fall out that ensues. Don't get me wrong, I loved the book. Read it multiple times actually, but the human psyche has ways of undermining the fragile, emotional human on the outside. I used to be so afraid everytime I heard that blasting sound. I would actually think we were being attacked. I used to see the bright amber glow of the moon, and squeeze my eyes shut in fear that it was a mushroom cloud. (I kid you not, I'm a fearful person.)

Now I can see that those fears were borderline irrational. But still, a person who has a rampant imagination can really create some awful situations in their own head. Mild hysteria can bring out things in people you just wouldn't imagine.

So while my fear is gone, I still wince a little with each boom. I still have scenarios play out in my mind as to how I will get home when/if I survive the attack that will surely come one day to one of the nation's largest Army bases.

Excuse me while I got build my fallout shelter. I think I'll just stay there, come getme when it's over.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Were you scammed?

Saw a newsflash today that Disney is refunding money on Baby Einstein videos. Turns out that they will not turn your child into a genius afterall. It's the Great Baby Einstein Scam!!


When I bought Baby Einstein, my goal was not to make my child a genius. I know that a DVD doesn't have the power to make my child a baby genius at six months. Hello?! I bought Baby Einstein as a way to, uh, let's say complete household chores while my normally clingy, whining child swings quietly and contentedly.

Don't get me wrong, TV is not the answer to a baby sitter. But 15 minutes of something colorful and possibly entertaining to his undeveloped cognitive system is ok with me.

Also included in the news bulletin was a note from the academy of something medical saying that children under the age of two should not be allowed to watch TV, it shortens their attention span. I literally laughed aloud about this, thinking, I watched TV as a tiny child. My attention span is fantastic. And then a little advertisement of a ghost costume caught my attention midsentence! :) But it's not because of TV, it's the fact that I'm finding anyway possible to avoid waking up, being an adult and working this morning.

So, anyway, my point is, and I'm sorry if you were one of them, and offend you, but how were people duped into believing something so silly as a DVD will really make your child smarter. The world isn't that easy folks. Baby Einstein isn't going to make your child a super genius, and a little Spongebob every now and then is going to make them less genius-like.

How smart your child is/will ever be is based on their genes, their cognitive potential, and the support and guidance they get from those leading their education; be that you as the parent, me as the teacher, or anyone else that they are learning significant amounts of information from.

And sorry, but that's just not a DVD.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

What a way to turn around!!

(A blog post from me in the middle of the week? What? I had to get the turn crank out to start up my computer just to post this!! : )

On my way to work, I felt like a greedy 5 year old who just had to be the fastest racer on the playground. I was just in such a hurry, for no reason. I made it to work early. I guess a sense of urgency is better than that loser who drives 45 in a 65, but I just hate feeling all tight and anxious about needing to pass those cars because they are only going 60. I don't really need to go 75, but for some reason, it really does make me feel better!! Kind of.

But anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I saw a student today who just really turned my day around.

Without giving any information about him, he is just a really sweet kid who has the kind of smile you have to mirror. I mean really, every time he smiled I had to smile back (even though I know my smile is not nearly as awesome as his is, not being self deprecating, he just has one of those million dollar smiles that belong on McDonald's commercials or happy TV in any form).

I left my office feeling a little lighter, and even dare I say, happier. I have been so blah all week, this is just the perfect way to turn it around for the weekend!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Do they make medication for procrastinators?

It's an awful disease, it really is. I have a paper due in 4 hours that I haven't started!! : ( I just can't make myself do the work.

Other than school, I procrastinate everything. Work, school, chores, everything. If I can put off getting gas until the next day, I will. Even if that means I'm running desperately on fumes.

While I do tend to work better under pressure, I typically generate a pressure cooker that's either going to explode or put out phenomenal results.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Man it really makes you thankful.

Ever just sit around and watch SuperNanny feeling super about your own family? I love how they sort of portray these terrible children, yet 99.9% of the time the parents are the issue.

It's like the Dog Whisperer, the "who" needing fixed is the adults who are in charge (or not in charge).

Saturday, October 10, 2009

DSS: Southern Living

I seem to constantly have this internal feud with myself over who I want to be.

I've always felt as though I'm a little too open minded and liberal in my thinking to be from a small southern place like Oklahoma. I think all the time that I just don't really fit in with some of the thoughts and actions of those around me.

However, I do have very thick southern ideals. I think there are just some things you don't say to or in front of women, that it's rude. I've had someone say this was sexist in thinking, but really I don't think it is. I think women should conduct themselves in certain ways as well. Do I think that we are bound behind a stove and vacuum? No, I just think there are much clearer gender lines in the south.

I also think children of the south are expected to act a certain way that is different of that up north. We say "Yes sir" and "Yes ma'am" with no qualms and know that someday we will be sir and ma'am.

This is the same dichotomy that keeps me from deciding where I want to live. I would love to buy an old farm house and fix it up, but the thought of living in the country with no close access to a walmart, or even a small town grocer is beneath my city living standards.

Growing up on a farm with no other children my age really spurred my imagination and I really think Archer would benefit from that. However, you just can't find a great farm in our budget that is close to anything relatively convienient.

I guess for now I'll just stay here and battle with myself some more!

One benefit of working

I ordered some clothes to wear to work. Even when I worked before I never spent a ton of money on clothes for work, because I would never be able to wear them anywhere else. I spent $200 on things specifically for work, but they are things that I can wear anywhere. Before, we could only wear black, white, or khaki. While I love the crisp, dressiness of it while shopping, it sucked having to only be able to wear those colors.

Chance has been teasing me, calling my clothes mommy clothes. But I guess there really isn't anything wrong with that anymore is there?


I have been feeling unwell since last Friday. I sent Chance out to get me some juice hoping the vitamin c would kick start my immune system. Did not, fyi.

Yesterday when I left work, I had a temp of 100; when I got home it was 101. I woke up at 145 with a temp of 103.5. I had forgotten to take nyquil. My eyeballs were burning. I was up until three.

Chance is on his way to get a new vehicle, and had to get up at 8; but when I woke up then, I had no fever and still don't. So, here's hoping I'm over whatever this is.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

What a nice, crisp day in October!

I woke up this morning to an extremely cool house. This is October weather to the core.

I got up bright and early (with some help from the monster formerly known as Archer) and got dressed. I bundled him up and left him with his daddy so I could go get some donuts. We never eat donuts. But today it just sounded great.

Later today, I have to go to my neices birthday party, and then tonight is game night.

Thankfully I'll have a little time to myself for a while. : )

Saturday, September 26, 2009

A finding from work

Let me start this by saying, I am not anti-military. I come from a stronly military family, there are only two cousins on my Nanny's side who didn't at least attempt to get into and/or serve in the military. All of her brothers served, two of whom were on a ship on their way to Japan before Nagasaki and Hiroshima were bombed. My great grandpa, whose house I live in, and his brother both signed up during WWI, and his brother died in training during the Spanish Influenze of 1918. Ok, so, I salute the flag support our armed forces, and pray for each man, woman, and their families.

Now that I've said all of that, my job has really opened my eyes to one major downfall of the military and the life that it follows. I work in Lawton, which is the home of Fort Sill, an army base. The school district does include several schools on base, but all three of my schools are not on base.

However, many of the kids are military kids who live off base and thus go to school inside the town. I have truly seen the affect of the nomadic lifestyles these kids endure, and for so many it isn't positive. It breaks my heart to see these kids who are struggling, are unable to read, or are just behind because they are in a new school every year or whatever.

Further than that, there are kids whose speech problems or learning issues are only aggravated by the deployment of one or both parent. I can imagine from a wife's standpoint how hard daily life would be to have your spouse gone for a year, to not have their support and help in daily decision making, but for a 12 year old to have just one parent. Even more than just having one parent, is having one parent who is stressed to the max and dealing with everything tough that's going on.

It's horrible to even imagine.

The fact from my point of view is, it's detrimental to a lot of kids. And then to be put in a place like Lawton, having a population of 110k when combined with Fort Sill, is like throwing them into the lion's den. It's scary for me to be in a hallway with 600 middle school kids swarming around you, usually against the stream, and I'm 23 almost 24 years old.

Anyway all of that said, I have a paper that I have to write about developing psychology, and I'm thinking it's going to be about this.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

In other news!

I found this super neat little wine bistro and grill just blocks from one of my schools, and even though I'm not currently a big wine drinker, I think it might be a great way unwind.

I told Chance we were sooo eating there!!

Monday, September 21, 2009


Day was super long, as I had class at 5. I got home about 8. I'm super tired!!

It seems like I will be working with some really great people, which I love. I will be floating between 3 schools, but they are all in a 10 minute radius.

My only concern is that I'm a little out of practice. My brain is more on the Mommy wavelength vs the education/speech path wave length, so I'll have to stretch it and tune it to do what needs to be done!!

Night all!!

PS, Did I mention I have a super sweet husband who told me happy anniversary today. When we were kids, we would always do something special on each monthiversary, and today happens to be 8 years and 5 months. He's amazing.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Wish List

Chance was going on earlier about the things he would like to have once we have a little more money so I told him I would creat a to do list, and when he crossed something off he could buy it.

There are several big projects still half finished around the house, so he has plenty to do, his wish list was short though. Just a jeep, a turkey fryer, and a new gun. *rolls eyes* He's obsessed with fried turkey, I like it, but not enough to buy a turkey fryer.

So, I've been trying to think of things to culminate into my own personal wish list. I'm not a big jewelry fan, but my sister sells Premier, so I can have her order whatever.

Here's what I have so far:

1. Small notebook computer
2. New DSLR camera
3. King sized bed

That's all I can think of for right now, but man mine are all super expensive things!

Going to Bed for the Last Time

as a stay at home Mommy. I wake up tomorrow a working Mommy.

I've been good all weekend, and the finality of that statement made me cry. I hate it. I know that at some time tomorrow, I'm going to break down in tears. I hate that too.

Hopefully I will get to get online somewhere and will be able to at least look at some pics of the kiddo, maybe that will help me get through the day.

Night all


I mentioned the movie Enchanted earlier, and the fact that I'm not enthused with the overall idea of the movie.

Well, after Chance went to bed, Archer and I watched Penelope, the movie with Christina Ricci. I went into it expecting it to be silly, and your regular run of the mill JH girl movie.

After watching the movie, I can only hope that every JH girl has seen the movie. In my comparison of the two movies, I would choose the slightly more rough around the edges Penelope over Enchanted.

The Disney flick had was cute, but in my opinion it gave the wrong message. Penelope had more adult language and themes, but had the message that young girls need to hear.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

DSS-Early Childhood

ETA: After a re-read, this is slightly choppy and bounces a little. Sorry.

Last week I discussed my parents and how they got together.

How about a lesson in early childhood? At the ripe old age of 2 we moved to a trailer on the family farm. There was a ton of family always around, and when my mom was working I spent my time with my grandparents. My grandpa was diagnosed with MS in his 20's and my grandma was in the early stages of losing her sight at this point.

Days with my grandparents are some of my most cherished memories. So many of them are fading, and I'm glad of the few pictures I have of them.

My grandpa, to be here on out called Poppy always let me sit in his lap and drink his coffee when it got cold. He would let me help him shave with one of those 3 round bladed electric shavers.

My grandma, to be called Nanny, schooled me at an early age. I had this book that we kept my homework in and I would get this really awesome red heart stickers when I completed so many assignments. I was reading Dick, Jane, and Sally books by the age of 4.

Once I was in school, I would ride the bus home to the bus stop, and Poppy would pick me up in this 1960's model truck with this horn that sounds so crazy. My sister hated it, I always thought it was cool.

I spent so much time with my Nanny and Poppy because my dad worked out of state a lot. He did (and still does) construction, and places like NJ and CA made a lot more money than the jobs here. My mom worked some then, mostly at convenience stores, but once my dad was back in OK for good my mom and her sister went in together and bought their own store.

Her odd hours and my dad's alcoholism lead to us spending a lot of time with the grandparents, but I don't ever remember thinking, "I wish I was home instead of here." Ya know? It had no ill effect.

One major happening was this really bad storm. I don't remember it, but I know it caused me to be a complete freak about weather. My cousin's wife ran a quarter of a mile to my Poppy's cellar, with my baby cousin (who was the same age as me) because we were in a tornado warning. She didn't have a car, so she cut through the cotton field and had cuts all over her legs and arms. That same cousin whose wife ran, his mom was killed by a single lightening strike on a cloudy day. It wasn't even storming.

To this day, I get extremely anxious about bad weather. Literally, almost to the point of anxiety attacks. It's really the only thing that just completely freaks me out and that I'm unable to be calm and collected about.

So, some milestones, some issues, and a big phobia!!

Fairy Tale Movie?

Since Starz is free this weekend, there is lots on TV! Yeah right, but still, I DVRed "Enchanted" last night, and we watched it earlier today.

Spoiler if you haven't seen it.

Knowing it's a Disney movie, I wasn't expecting anything too risque or anything. There weren't any blatant cleavage shots or a ton of over exposing clothes. The father buys a book about famous women for the daughter instead of the fairy tale book she wanted.

Blah, blah the movie goes on in a typical fashion for disney. Singing, dancing, and gaiety. (The happy kind, not the sexual kind.) Well, you can clearly see that the father is growing feelings for the princess, and like wise. They almost kiss.

The movie winds down to the ulimate climactic moment, and guess what? True love's first kiss we've been singing about since minute 3, it's not with Prince Edward, it's with Robert McDreamy.

Now, I have no problem with true love, singing, or fairy tales. But, and this is a pretty big one, but I'm not ok with adultery. I'm sure it sounds absurd to say this, but he's planning on proposing to his girlfriend of 5 years. She was on the way to the wedding to marry her prince. They were both "in love" with these people, yet suddenly they are in love with each other.

What kind of message is that? I like the idea of the story, that we don't always have to do what is expected, that we don't fall in love after just one day, we have to date and learn about each other. I get and respect all of that.

Don't know. Maybe I'm over thinking it, I just don't like to promote the idea that we can fall out of love with one person and in love with another in a matter of days.


Archer and I shared a first tonight. We went to our first HS football game.The town we live in played a boarding school on the edge of town.


My little sister is a HS cheerleader this year, so we went to watch her for the homecoming festivities. We actually couldn't see her from where I sat, but we got some pics before!

Archer was a little worried about the band, they were just a few feet over from us. He kept staring over at them and had this really worried look on his face. After they scored a few touch downs though, he was ok about it and was clapping when we clapped and yelling when we yelled. He even danced to the band music a little.


The game was a complete blowout. My dad and I only stayed for the first quarter because as we were leaving, they scored a last second TD and brought the score to 44-0. The final score ended up being 71-0.

Great first time experience for both of us!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

I'm really trying not to whine. I let myself mope for the entire first day, and now I have to get over it.

Today is my last day with Archer until Summer.

I also realized last night that I only signed a contract through May 27. What if I buy a new car, and then can't find another job somewhere else?! I'm not going to let myself worry about it because I have to get a new car to drive 45 minutes and then drive to each school.

Anyway, kiddo is fighting nap time, gonna go help him to sleep.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Mm, Mm, Mmmm

I got to thinking today about my favorite foods!

1. Steak (I love a really juicy, albeit well cooked steak.)
2. Pizza Hut Cheese Pizza (Thin or Handtossed Crust, pan is toooo greasy.)
3. Pancakes (No explanation needed.)
4. A really great green salad (No icky lettuce, or mushrooms though.)
5. Bread (Fresh from the bakery french bread with a crusty crust. Mmm.)

Basically, that's all I could come up with. There are other things that I like, but I love those tings. I could eat them daily, and not get tired of them.


Feeling a lot better about the job situtation today.

I'm only considered a support staff person, which is kind of confusing, but really from what I can tell it means that I don't have to work inservice days.

The home daycare I was wanting to send Archer to said she doesn't want a baby as small as him. She said that if I couldn't find anything else to let her know, she might change her mind. I really hope she does!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Hollywood self esteem

Megan Fox is admitting to cutting herself and being extremely insecure.

I feel terrible for this girl. I don't really have any self esteem issues, sometimes I feel down about something or another, but I just don't have the time or energy to care what others think about me, physically or mentally.

This girl is hot. And loaded. And really hot. She's a freaking movie star.

How can you feel down about yourself? You have to have talent to be an actress, it's not as simple as it seems. You have to be hot to be the kind of actress she is. And yet she says she feels as if she has no worth. I just don't get that.

With all of that said, my cousin made the HS paper a few weeks ago, and the same paper had a survey of the actresses they thought were the hottest. It was a HS poll. Sophie Bush beat out Megan Fox. We were all shocked. Guess that much overwhelming beauty can be too much, even to high school boys, who would have guessed.

: (

I'm feeling extremely sad.

I the call that my husband has been waiting for.

I was offered a job at a public school for speech path assistant.

Shouldn't you be happy? Husband asks.

I'm not. I answer. I am trying. It will be an experience.

But once again, my entire life is shifting, not just a part of it.

On Monday, I have to be a working mom. I have to find a schedule for my child and myself that I haven't given second thought so since I figured I wouldn't have a job after the first of the school year.

I'm sad because I have to leave my baby behind. I'm sad because he's just not so much a baby anymore. I'm sad because I am.

Chance just really doesn't get this. He's never been at home, he's never have every inch of his life changed irreversibly. He's never had to change all of who he is.

Now, there is a good side to this. I will be making $30 an hour, that's good. We will be able to get central heat and air installed before the dead cold of winter. I will be able to go with my sister and blow money on ridiculous things on shopping trips. And so on and so forth.

The thing is, I don't care about the money.

Maybe I'm just scared. Afraid of changing again. Maybe I'll even get over it.

For now I'm just sad.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

13th Tale

I completely devoured this book. I read late last night, during nap time today and even for a little while as Chance and Arch played in the floor. The instant they were in bed, I busted that book out again and finished it.

In the book, the author describes being so drawn into a book that you are completely unaware of the world moving around you. While that didn't happen with this book, it has happened to me in the past. When I was reading the Twlight Saga, it happened to me. I was so wrapped up that I couldn't do anything but read. Archer was still bfing so I could just read while he nursed and napped. I honestly stayed up until 330 to finish one of the books, and I read them all in 5 days. I actually finished the first book on the way to the theater to watch the movie. On the way back, I picked up New Moon from my sister and had it finished the by the evening of the next day. Luckily, my own personal copies came in the mail 2 days later, or I would have been suffering from withdrawals.

The Thirteenth Tale, the book I just finished, was a really good book. The author was very engaging, and I'm slightly disappointed in myself for not realizing what was happening until it was spelled out for me. I was going in all the wrong places, but once it was said outloud, I was distressed to have missed it.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys reading in general. It has very little bad language, it does talk a little about things of a not so kosher nature, but nothing that isn't absolved with the story.

Tomorrow, I must make up lost time in the homework department. Hopefully I'll have the chance to pop in the library to check out The Shadow of the Wind, by Carlos Ruiz-Zafon. More on it later!

Monday, September 14, 2009


I saw that another HB and fellow blogger had a fairly adversive reaction to penicillin and made me wonder if anyone else had children with allergies, be it major pollen allergies, food, or vaccinations?

Archer has had a reaction twice to Kraft Ranch dressing. He also had it happen once when he had eaten nothing but roast and veggies (foods he's eaten many times) and animal crackers.

It's really the crackers that worry me because one of their main ingredients is soybean oil, which just happens to rank extremely high in ranch dressing. I would really hate for him to be allergic to soybean oil, or worse just basic soy.

I think we would have encountered it more if that were the case, but you really never know.

My mom has food allergies, but mostly to preservatives and food combinations. She can eat all of the ingredients in pumpkin pie alone, and some pumpkin pies without a reaction, but others cause her to be sick instantly. (By sick I mean sneezing, coughing, watering eyes, stomach issues) She can't eat any pizza at Pizza Hut, but 10 years ago only pan pizza affected her.

I only hope that my mother's allergenic issues don't affect my child!

New Book

I added a new book to my library thing today.

It's called "The Thirteenth Tale." It's by Diane Setterfield.

I came across it on a blog yesterday, and it really sounded interesting. I don't get excited about books all that often, so I really hope it's not just hype!

I'll let you know how it turns out!

PS, Has anyone read this? If so, 1-5 stars?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Drama, Drama

I'm sure a ton of people don't agree with me, but I think that the Kanye West thing was staged.

I read an article a while back written by a celeb assistant; he didn't say who he worked for, but that he did work for a major celebrity. He said that there are so many things that are fabricated just for publicity, relationships, break-ups, etc.

Basically, two celebrities who needed a publicity boost would pretend to be in a relationship. They would be seen together in public, or maybe going to the other's house, but nothing was really happening. They were just using the paparazzi for their own benefit.

After reading that, I don't really believe anything that happens in Hollywood. The Kanye/Taylor story has been blasted all over facebook, myspace, and every news page in the world. It's a top trend on twitter. It's everywhere.

How else could they have gotten a buzz like that for the VMAs? I have seen a ton of people update their status to say they are now going to watch the late edition of the VMAs just to see the drama, would they have watched it before? No, or they would have just watched the early one.

I think it's just a blatant way to generate notoriety they wouldn't have had before.

Ok, so now I'm really going to

The class I went to tonight was really good. It was at the home of one of my sister's friends from HS and her husband. He has worked as a youth minister and is currently going to seminary to be a pastor. It can't actually be called a 'bible study' we actually just talked about religion tonight. We are currently, for the next few weeks covering religion and cults. We will eventually move to the hard questions and things you've always wanted to know about religion that you didn't already know.

There are some religions and questions that we covered that I already knew about, like Islam and Hinduism, but we also talked about Scientology. It's a religious cult, that due to it's growing popularity is being considered a religion by some.

I didn't know, and I still don't really know much about Scientology. I learned that they don't have a definition for their deity, but they do dispute the definition of biblical God.

We talked about Christian Scientists, which is not the same thing. Christian Scientists were founded by Mary Eddy. Their beliefs are slightly out there, but I can definitely see some aspects of them. One of their big things is that sickness or injury are states of mind, and to be healed you have a practitioner (a member of CS who is a liscenced healer, but not necessarily a doctor) who you pay to come in and heal you. No medical procedures are used, but you are prayed over, you are shown how to change your thinking, foods, and actions so that your body will heal. I don't agree with it, but I do think that when patients who are terminally ill with things like cancer could definitely use this type of healing in addition to regular medical healing.

Next week we will be covering Jehovah's Witness and Mormonism/LDS. I'm really interested in what he has to say about each of those. I don't mean that to sound as though I doubt him, at all, because I don't. I just think it's interesting.

Let you know more next week!!

I know, I know, I'm going to talk about it

Religion. For many people this can be a really dirty word, and I truly hate that fact. So, for now all I'm going to say is, at 6 o'clock, I'm going to a bible study class.

I'll say more later!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Defining Sally Saturday

So, after debating about what to do for a re-occuring theme, I've decided to start with myself, and all about me.

Let's start at the beginning shall we?

I have talked about my parents a little before, and their early history. Let's move them up for a few years.

My parents also met in high school, though they only dated for a short, short time. My dad actually dated both of my mom's best friends before he dated her.

My mom liked boys from out of town, (hehe) which is how she met my sister's dad. At 18 she was pregnant and on her way to be married.

My dad moved to Oklahoma City with his girlfriend, one of my mom's best friends, and eventually joined the navy. He was active for 3 years, all on a ship. The USS Grey to be exact.

When he got back, he had moved back to the hometown. He was living in a small trailer house near the car wash with his older brother. My mom was over washing her car, and he came over to ask her out. : ) How sweet eh?

Anyway, they got married a few years later, and in 1985 I came along.

We lived in Fort Cobb when I was born. It's a very small town about 600 people that is about 15 minutes from where I live right now.

When I was around 2 we moved a trailer house to the family farm. It's 100 something acres that was split in a trust between my grandma and her brothers. Now it's split between my grandpa and my great uncles children.

Growing up on that farm really shaped who I was. Don't let me mislead, though. It was a farm with cows and hay and tractors, but I have never done anything farm like. The closest thing to farm work I have ever done is get eggs from my grandpa's chickens or feed grass to my dad's goat.

That land is just rich with stories and memories though. My great Uncle, his son, my grandparents, and my parents all lived there at one time. My mom and grandpa are now the only ones left. That thought makes me sad, and if it weren't for the fact that it was out in the country I would love to build a house there. I would love to buy the land so that it didn't have to be shared. I'm greedy that way.

So, a little quick shot here. Next Defining Sally Saturday, we will have my childhood! Stay tuned

Archer's Photo-Blog Debut

Check out Brooke Turney Photography in the sidebar over there ------>

She just posted a blog of Arch's pics!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Get the ruler out!

I had a realization yesterday about men and their peepee's. I wrote this REALLY long blog about it. It was really good. I'll try to repeat it as best as possible.

About a month and a half ago, we got some extra money from a side job Chance did. (Definition of a side job: work that is not done during normal business hours and of which the pay is not regular income counted on to pay bills) We really weren't expecting to get it when we did, and we didn't expect to get as much as we did.

We go to walmart to buy a new computer since I have been using my mom's since April. We find the one we want, only to *find* that the only one they have is the display, which they don't sell. Chance spends a few minutes wandering around the electronic area (I know, what was I doing letting him even look.) and decides that he wants to get a surround system. After some begging on his part and a promise that he will buy the new computer with the left over money and his next pay check, we get the surroud system that matches the big screen tv we bought this last spring.

So that he can feel superior and prove that he does in fact have the biggest peepee of them all, my husband immediately starts calling his male counterparts to tell them all about his purchase.

His first call, his dad. His dad really isn't interested. He still has a console tv. He is proud that his son can buy these items and carry on the family legacy.

His second call is to his boyfriend. (If you've forgotten about the boyfriend, you can find him here, here, and here

He takes the bait. They talk for at least 30 minutes about who has the bigger pe--I mean, better sound system. Boyfriend also has the exact same model tv, ours is just newer and the speaker is on the bottom not the sides. So, of course any time either of them is here or there, they have to debate which has the better tv. They don't stop there of course, they also talk about who has the better truck, or better whatever. Chance of course wins because he has an heir who can continue the male legacy of peepee measuring.

His final call is to my dad. Chance works with my dad, so he also got money from this same side job, only he got more because he was running said job while Chance was doing most of the work. (I'm not being snotty about this, it's basic laborer boss dynamic.) This call about the sound system has worked my dad up, he now needs a new tv and sound system also. My mom is put out because now my dad is going to blow money on a tv and sound system.

This past weekend my dad buys his new crap and they still have to call each other and say, "Does yours do this?"

Chance says that isn't the only thing they do either. He actually told me this last night. They also compare food at lunch, as in they boast and say who has the better food every day at lunch, even though they are both eating microwave warmed up junk. Chance says he won yesterday because, while he had a cheesy weiner (No really, the Better Cheddar kind) my dad had a cold steak. Steak would be the automatic winner, but it was cold and he didn't have anything to go with it, so he lost.

Boys, no one really cares who's is bigger. It's ok. : )

Missing Posts!?!

Last night, I posted this super long blog about men and their tendencies. I posted one about a small world. When I went to bed I had 149 posts.

I wake up this morning, 145. Where did the other posts go?!!!?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

One more quick thing

AF just arrived. She only visits sporadically, usually only after I freak out enough to take a pg test. The bitch.

Anyway, went to the store yesterday to buy said pg test. Don't you hate that stare down you get. Everytime I feel like I'm a 15 year old boy asking for condoms, and the check out lady just stares at me, in judgement because I clearly have a baby. Just makes me want to slap her. (Or it could be the AF hormones wanting to slap her, guess I'll never know)

I'm not sure how I would react to someone buying condoms and pregnancy tests if I worked at walmart. I'm sure you have to be all professional and pretend like it's the same thing as socks, but really, I'm nosy and it would be hard.

When we were trying to get pregnant with Archer I bought my very first one, and wouldn't you know the damn alarm went off at walmart, sending me back because of their inventory control system. The guy who checked my bag wished me luck, on however I wanted it to turn out.

Which brings me to another point. I hate how some tests have happy faces. Is it a sad face if you aren't pregnant? I really don't believe in the happy/sad face mechanism because that's only serving half the population. I'm pretty sure there are some extra hormonal 18 year old girls out there that want to kick that happy face in the nuts when it pops up on the pregnancy test she takes. It's not always a good thing for all people.

I'm not saying that babies aren't always a good thing, but there are definitely situations when people shouldn't reproduce. Therefore, lets end the happy face pregnancy tests, mmmkay?

On a lighter note

Just saw a commercial for fiber plus granola bars. Seriously, they took out extra sugar, gag. Added almonds, a plus. Traded milk chocolate for dark, gag. I'm thinking this thing can't be good.

I love granola bars, but I can only imagine this is sticky oats, no sugar, and dark chocolate ickiness.

By the way, who really actually likes dark chocolate? I go out of my way to avoid it.

Feeling a lot?

Lately I've really been feeling as though there is so much more I should be doing, just with my life in general. I feel like I'm getting behind, that everything is just moving too fast for me to even stand up straight, more or less move with it.

I am more than blessed to even be given the opportunity to get to stay at home and take care of my son, my husband and my house. Mostly, I do it so that I get to wake up and see my smiley boys face and play with him all day, but the other reasons are part of it.

The thing is, financially, if I were working we would be in such a better place, our income would be basically doubled. We are surviving, we can afford groceries and gas and basic necessities, but we don't eat out. We don't really go out. Archer has a lot of hand me down toys, but I don't let myself care about that, because really he could care less. I like to think that he will one day look back and be glad that he got to spend time with his mommy and not even think about those used toys.

My biggest issue with my situation is, Chance works long days at a job that he really isn't that enthusiastic about. He has been paying 100% of our bills since 2006. He does it because it's necessary. Of course, back then he payed the bills and my extra scholarship money and my income from my extremely part time job was blown on stuff like video games, dates, clothes, and whatever other fun stuff we wanted to do.

I'm not saying this in a deragtory way, but I am smarter than him. I am academically smart, and he can build or fix whatever you want. Statistically, I should be making more money than him. But, I'm not making anything.

I was called to a job interview last week that I didn't go to. It was an education and work counselor at one of the tribal offices nearby. Honestly, that's not my ideal work situation, I'm not sure why I applied, but I did.

Chance was really upset that I didn't want to go to the interview; he didn't say much, he just pouted about it. I really felt like I didn't know anything about the job and didn't want to go interview for something I knew nothing about. Plus I didn't want to go and interview only to be turned down again.

I completely understand why I didn't get every single teaching position I didn't get. The very first interview I went on, the school didn't have the budget to hire anyone, otherwise I would have had the job. The second one my sister told me about, it was at the job she had been a secretary at. I really wasn't qualified for it yet. I hadn't even taken the test, but I had scheduled it for later that month. The third I was qualified, but not "Highly Qualified" per NCLB standards.

The last school I applied at still has open positions listed in the newspaper, but I haven't heard anything from them, which sucks. I always have really great self confidence, but my professional confidence is a little bruised. I just feel like I need to be doing so much more with myself, for myself and my family.

After saying here and telling my friend who works for the school system I last applied at that I hadn't heard anything, I got a call from them 10 minutes ago to come interview Friday. Now I'm freaked!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

More on my little friend Jon

Apparently Jon Gosselin is a bigger douche bag than I thought he was.

On GMA, he's alledging that he was abused. That he was left behind with the kids while Kate was out "traveling." That what broke their marriage down was his saying, I'm going out with my friends.

Am I the only one who hears all of this in the whiny voice of a 5 year old? Seriously? You weren't abused, you were a baby. Man up, if you want to wear the pants, then wear them, but you've got to step up your game my friend.

Oh, and your wife wasn't out "traveling" she was WORKING. You know, that's where the money came from that bought your car and 5k square foot Trump Towers place. Working Jon, you should try it.

His actual words were, 'the straw that broke the camel's back was when I stood up to Kate.' He stood up to her by saying, "I'm going out with my friends." (Imagine these words with a pout, you know, really stick your lips out.) Geez. You have 8 kids, you don't get to go out and play with your friends all the time. Oh, and PS your friends are 22 year old females, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't let you hang out with them either.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Need another Monday

Mondays are not the bane of my existence as they are others.

Mondays are generally my make up days from the weekend.

This being a holiday weekend, Monday is going to be Tuesday this week, but I still have a TON to do.

This week is going to be super busy. The fair in the town I grew up in is this weekend. It's a great place to go and just catch up with people from high school. It's a really great family atmosphere and the games and ride tickets are 50 cents each, with nothing needing more than 3 tickets.

My mom, sister and I are going and taking the kids every night, then the parade is Saturday. My sister and her husband are entering a float.

Chance was teasing me about being excited about it, but it's really just something to do. : )


Guess what time I woke up today? Noon, that's what time.

Now that might seem like I'm asking my son to keep me up late at night by sleeping that late. However, considering that he did not go to sleep until 1 am, and then woke up at 430 am for an hour just kills me.

You would think that all that catch up sleep would be good for me, and sleep-wise I am better. However, we had a frozen pizza last night, I had heartburn when I woke up and it has not gone away.

On a brighter note, I found one of my books on ebrary last night for one of my classes. That really brightened my day! To buy it would have been over $100.

Now I have done two assignments and feel like I'm really not going to be a procrastinator this time around!!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Rant a little?

It seems I have doomed myself to severe insomnia. Well, not by choice, but I took Archer's bottle away last week, and since that very next day he hasn't slept for crap.

Here's a little recap of yesterday's sleep. Wake up at 11, take a nap at 3:30 (which I just had to put him in bed and let him CIO because he wouldn't sleep), stay up until 2:30 am and then finally go to bed.

This is killing my natural sleep rhythm. I have to drag myself awake in the mornings and by the time Archer is asleep, I'm dead tired. I don't really take naps, I just fell useless after a nap. Plus, there is so much to get done during nap time.

On top of all of that, Chance stayed home yesterday. Usually Saturdays are my day to myself, but not yesterday. I really needed the break, but thankfully I'm home today sans child and husband. Already got some toys cleaned up, hopefully the rest of the day I can relax!!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

My poor husband

After the long hot summer, Chance was really looking forward to a nice, long (and by long I mean playoffs) OU football season.

He really got into watching sports last year. He never really cared, but having a baby and not a lot of spending money means you spend a lot of time at home. Thus, every Saturday night instead of dinner and a movie, we watched college football to a home cooked meal.

He got really involved after that to say the least. He's kept up with the team in the off season, watches videos online, etc etc.

He was REALLY looking forward to this football season.

Seconds before half time, their star quarter back, 2008 Heisman Trophy winner, Sam Bradford takes an awful hit and is laying on the ground clutching his shoulder. My heart stopped, you never want to see a player injured. As a mother all I can think is, this poor kid, because he is just a kid. He's just a junior in college. (See previous post about my personal feelings on these hits and how they relate to my son.)

I call my dad, just to make sure he hasn't had a heart attack. (He's not allowed to until November 1st, my mom took out a heart attack/stroke/cancer policy on him that doesn't go into affect until then.) He hadn't, but of course I had to hold the phone miles away from my ear to keep from getting any permanent damage.

They come back after half time to say that he will not be coming back in, looks likely he has some kind of sprain that takes weeks of rehab.

When the #3 team lost to the #20 team my husband was outside smoking a cigar, I think he was hoping it would relieve some of his extreme anxiety. You wouldn't believe how thick the tension in the room was after poor Sam was injured.

So, at the end of the night, I pray for Sam Bradford, this could very well end his career if it's bad enough. I pray for my dad's heart, he really shoudn't stress about things he can't change. And I pray that my O-State loving cousins don't mercilessly attack my husband's facebook page, even though with all the instigating he has been doing the month leading up to football season, he deserves it.


Living vicariously

Chance complains constantly about how he didn't get to play football in highschool. Our school didn't have it, but the two bigger schools nearby did.

We now live in a town where football is offered. He insists that Archer will play (or at least try out) football. I go back and forth on this issue.

I love watching football, but I really don't want my baby boy getting slammed to the ground and bruised. As a high school football player, I know the hits he will be taking will be much more severe.

I would love for him to play baseball. It's so laid back and much more challenging. It's not based on brute strength, it's based on technique.

But no, the caveman inside my husband insists my son prove his caveman-ness too.

ETA: When I asked why football and not baseball, wanna know the answer? "Because it's manlier." I knew he was a secret caveman.

Friday, September 4, 2009

President in School?

There is a big uproar right now about the President speaking in schools via Satellite and internet.

The local news station does a "2 cents" segment where the reporter talks about an issue, shares his opinion and viewers call, text or email in a response.

I was shocked at the amount of people who felt that this was brainwashing or abuse of power. One person even called the President Hitler for doing this.

I will say, I did not vote for Obama. I don't agree with everything he is doing, but I fully believe that as the president of the United States, he does deserve some respect. For anyone to suggest he's Hitler for wanting to speak with America's children is insane to me.

I can only imagine as a child how cool it would have been to be able to listen to the president talk, in an address targeted toward me and my friends. After first hearing about this I even told Chance that (if) when I get a teaching job, it would be so cool to talk to a representative or the governor and have them do something similar to this.

I also think it would be super cool for the president to make his address a weekly thing and do shout-outs to specific schools and have specific things to say to them. (ie, go Mustangs or whatever) The memories that would create would be kept forever, whether the childs parents like the president or not. My great uncles remembered FDR's fireside radio chats, and still talked about them up until the time they died. I would love for my child to have something similar to this.

Now, I say all of this information with the perspective that the information shared by the president is extremely generic. I wouldn't want him pushing universal health care on my third grader, but I would love for him to talk about some of his school days and experiences, as well as a few words of encouragement.

ETA: According to the White House this address will be strictly educational and not policy.

First birthday pictures!!

The photo shoot was good! It was a little hot for September (in most places), but it's always hot here until October.

Arch didn't want to look at the camera that much, but I think some of them will turn out cute. He didn't really want to do family pictures, so we did some with each of us with him.

I can't wait to see how they turn out!! But Brooke is awesome, so I know they'll be good!

A bit of celeb gossip and an opinion.

You can't walk into a grocery store nowadays without seeing Jon and/or Kate Gosselin on a cover of something. I have an opinion on a lot of things, and this just happens to be one of them.

I thoroughly dislike Jon.

I don't care that his (ex)wife is snippy and bosses him around. I don't care that she sometimes comes across as hateful and belittling toward him. Those are reasons for marriage counseling, not divorce.

I just started watching the show last year. I loved seeing the natural family dynamic and struggle to raise so many children under the same house. Now I feel as though everything about it is posed and extremely unnatural. (Even before the divorce.)

I see the things (that are edited, I do realize this) that Jon says, and it just makes me want to slap him. From the things you see and read, he doesn't have any regrets or sympathy for his actions. He doesn't seem to care that he has really and truly hurt Kate.

Some might say he's just finally grown the balls to deal with her, but I think he's being an insensitive prick.

Now, I will go ahead and admit this as well. I see a lot of Kate in myself. I don't go around screaming at my husband or child, but there are times when I yell. There are times when I feel so frustrated that I just can't sit with my mouth shut and say things like, "Wash this crap off your plate and put it in the dishwasher. It's really not that hard."

I have one husband, who has lived through A LOT and is extremely mature and one child. I can only imagine having a husband who acts the way Jon is portrayed and 8 children. It would be hard, for me anyway. There are mothers, like the Duggar woman who doesn't seem to have any trouble constantly being nice to her million children, but I just can't imagine it.

I think I would always be aggravated at one of them, there are just too many for all of them to be on their best behavior 24 hours a day. I never imagined myself a stay at home mom either, maybe it just comes. Who knows.

Other than the children, to have a husband who runs around the country skiing and spending time with friends when he is married is just odd to me. How can you say you are taking care of your family when you are snowboarding in Vail for 3 weeks? Alone with "friends." I just don't get that kind of behavior. He has a super expensive, non family car, a chopper, he jet sets all over while Kate does book tours and public speaking. He whines about her being gone and his having to take care of the kids. He whines about the publicity and how he wants a normal life.

I have two things to say about that. First, you don't seem to mind not having a normal life when you are living in a 1.2 million dollar house (or a Donald Trump high rise now), driving a $50k car, and going on vacations regular people couldn't even dream of. And second, if Jon Gosselin were just a normal guy, he wouldn't have women flocking to him. Who wants a cheater with 8 kids, and an ex like Kate?! Like I said, I like Kate, but I sure wouldn't want to be with her ex husband, I can only imagine the catty things she would say both to your face and behind your back. To answer my question, no one. No one wants a "normal" Jon, especially with all of his baggage.

But what I do know is, I would definitely have to inflict massive pain, either emotional or physical, to my husband if he EVER acted like Jon.

Sorry if you don't agree. You can comment if you want, but I really don't care. I'm still gonna think what I want. lol

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Wanna know a big secret?

Sorry, I don't have any big ones.

But, I do have this little bit of information that is totally irrelevant to anything important. : ) I have only told this to one person, out loud.

I am currently on financial aid suspension. : ( Wanna know why?

Because I dropped all of my classes my last semester in the middle of the semester because it wasn't what I wanted to do and because I thought I had a job lined up that would require me to work full time.

So, now I am praying that I can get an appeal, or I will be $1500 in the hole for these classes I am taking. : ( Scary huh?

So, tomorrow, I have to go for a job interview. I doubt I will get it, it's for a tribe. It involves counseling people in an education/career aspect. I have no idea how much it pays, so I might be wasting my time anyway. But, I figure there is never any harm in interviewing, just gives you that much more experience. And, I haven't interviewed for real jobs all that much.

After the interview, I'm off to the college to take my appeal letter and the rest of my financial aid documents. Keep your fingers crossed that they will appeal me and I can get my scholarship!!

A lapse in technology

Right before Christmas, Chance and I decided that we did not need cellphones. Our contracts were up, and really, they were a bonus we didn't need. I am home all day long, and he is with my dad all day long. We are both generally always with people who will have cell phones.

I was totally addicted to having mine. I sent more text messages than most bratty hs kids.

My thing with texting though was a little more complex. When we moved from the town we lived in while I was in college, I quit my job, I left behind all of my friends from work and school, I was home bound all the time because we just didn't have the money for me to drive over there and hang out for no reason. Plus it was the middle of summer, and I was too hot and pregnant to get out and drive 40 minutes to hang out. Plus, all of said friends were either in school or at work. I felt really lost.

So, I would send hundreds of texts per day to talk to all of the people I left behind.

Back to the original converstion! We turned off the cell phones, got a home phone and internet for about $70 a month less than our two mobile phones.

Most of my friends and all of my family knew about this switch, and it wasn't too weird for me.

However, with my new classes, a classmate asked for my cellphone. I didn't say anything, but it really did feel odd to say, "I don't have one."

Did I mention, I have had a cell phone since I was 15? So, 8 years when I turned it off. It just feels odd now not to have one now, and it's the first time I have felt that way since we did it.

You always hear people say they wish they didn't have one. That it would be freeing. Well, it was for a while. I love being able to go places and not have to worry about someone calling me for whatever.

Now, it's a little awkward!

My how times have changed!

This is a silly post, just a slight forewarning.

I'm watching "Can't Buy Me Love." And at the same time, one channel over, Grey's Anatomy is on. I think it's hilarious that Patrick Dempsey went from the skinny, lanky, geeky kid to the mature, totally hot Derek Shepard.

His mannerisms are the same, his voice, the way he walks all the same, but he looks so different! LOL

Monday, August 31, 2009

Under Construction

I have been changing my look up a lot.

I know deep down when I changed something that I don't just love, love it; like my previous background. I loved the header, but the flowers were just a little too much for me. Chance liked it, so I went with it.

I didn't mean to actually change it just now, because I didn't tell it to save, but it changed anyway and I'm too tired to change it back. Maybe tomorrow.

I'm thinking maybe I'm having image issues, because I find things that I like, but I feel like they just aren't 'me.'

I will go to another blog and see it, and think, "Man that background totally matches the vibe I am getting from the words, etc." But I don't feel like my personality is quite as bright and flowery, or pink and zebra-y that I've been looking lately.

Then, the ones I really like, (ie, the beach) there isn't a cute little header to match. So, I'm just going to keep looking and try to figure something out!!

When I rule the world

Monday will be an official nothing day.

Everyone will still have to go to work, banks will be open, newspapers will be printed etc, but nothing major will be allowed to happen.

Things cannot be due on Monday.

Let me start this by saying, I love my husband, and I'm super sad that we don't get to spend as much time alone and just enjoy each other's company like we once could.

However, when Monday morning rolls around it's like my weekend from all the crap that happened Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. It's my catch-up clean-up day because since he was home all weekend there are clothes and cups and plates and junk left in places that weren't there on Thursday.

My cousin has been spending a lot of time over here, he and Chance have been friends since 1st grade. Every weekend this past month he has been over. I have no problem with that, it's just one more person I have to pick up after. We've also been going to the boyfriend's house every weekend.

So, basically, I need a break from everything that I have going on during the weekend.

Today, I needed to drive to school, instead of just the distance center I go to, for some paperwork. I need to fax in my application for this job I found.

Guess what, it was Monday and I didn't do any of it! : (

Big boy picture!

One of my new favorite pictures!!


I got the idea from my aunt, but when she went on photobucket, she used the paint tool, not the black and white tool.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Props to take?

We are going next week to take Archer's 1 year pics, and some of our family.

There are a few things I know I want to take:

Teddy Bear
Dump Truck
My old tricycle

A few things I'm thinking about:

I need some more ideas. The pics will be outside in the evening at the park where we had his bday party.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Scariness update!!

Lots of scary news coming from the murder.

Party, party!!!

Archer's very first birthday party was great!

We ended up having about 40 people, close friends and family. We had it at an outside pavillion in the park. The weather was perfect, but slightly windy. Archer has several cousins who all spent their time playing happily while the adults visited.

Arch loved when everyone sang Happy Birthday, and he LOVED his cupcake! He just shoved it right into his little face! : ) Daddy gave him some ice cream and cleaned him up while Mommy got all the presents rounded up!

He was so cute with the presents. He tried to pull the paper off my BFF's present when we rode with her in her car, so I knew he wouldn't have a problem opening them! He just ripped right into the first one, and opened them all the way to the end. And, man were there a TON of presents. He got several books and outfits, a hat, a dump truck, a wagon, some little cars and toys and 2 (got that), 2 trains.

One is an alphabet train, that he loves, although he does sit on the attachment and not the actual seat. And the other is a Thomas train. He's not really feeling the Thomas train much, but I think he will once he's a little bigger.

His favorite toy today was a music table my SIL got him.

All in all, it was a great day!

48 cupcakes later, I'm exhausted and going to bed!!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Happy Birthday Archer!!

August 27, 2008

We had been at the hospital the entire night before, we checked in at 10:30pm. They inserted (?) the Cervadil and hooked me up to the fetal monitor. The nurse asked if I wanted a sleeping pill, "No I said." Whew, wish I would have, don't think I slept the whole night. I kept waking up every time I would move because the fetal monitor heartbeat would stop.

About 7 am the Dr came in and started the Pitocin and broke my water. The contractions weren't bad until about 11 am. Then, they started to hurt. (For those of you who didn't have an epidural, I do not envy you. :)

I wasn't dilated enough for the epidural until 1, but they gave me something and I felt much better. People filtered in an out, my sister, God bless her, made sure the nurses were in to check on me and made sure I wasn't in pain.

Once I had the epidural, life was great. I took a nap, and the nurse woke me up to check my dilation around 3:30. I was almost to 10, so she sent everyone out and called for the doctor.

I started pushing a little after 4 and around 4:25, my sweet boy was here!! : )

We had an ABO Incompatibility, so they kept a close eye on his Bilirubin level, and we thought we weren't going to get to go home, but luckily we did!

Best day of my life thus far! : ) Mommy loves you Archer!!

gonna rant a little, need to get it out

We had some rain off and on yesterday, even stormed a little. In Oklahoma, this is normal. The weatherman (Jed Castles or Gary England) said heavy thunderstorms.

Right before bedtime, I noticed a big clump of green and red on the radar online. I decided to stay up and see what was happening with it.

Good thing I did. First, the wind was blowing so hard it woke Archer up from a dead sleep. It was just beating on the walls of our house. I went to get the crying baby and the power went off. That freaked him completely out!

I looked out the front door and it looked like hurriacane footage.

I put Archer in bed with us, which was hell. It was so hot, but we couldn't open a window because there was still torrential rainfall happening outside. After about half an hour Chance got up and went to the couch because Archer was just moaning. A little longer in, the power finally came back on.

With the lights on, Archer thought he should play. I let him get in the floor, which he instantly decided was not what he wanted. He got back in my lap and went to sleep.

You think it's over!? Nope.

Chance wakes me up when he leaves, I've been asleep for an hour. Twenty minutes later he is home getting my truck and money from the safe for gas because he is having to drive all the way to work. (He usually rides with my dad.)

Two hours later, he's back. He says, "Babe I'm home, I have to go change, I'll tell you why I'm home in a second."

I can only imagine the worst. The last time he drove to work in one of our vehicles he wrecked my very first car.

I'm fighting to wake up after 4 hours of sleep. He comes back and says it was raining really hard and he turned too sharply out of a gas station and almost turned into an 8 foot drainage ditch. Instead of going into it, one wheel went over the edge and the frame fell onto a concrete barrier.

Now, all of that on my baby's first birthday. Luckily, Daddy stayed awake and let Mommy sleep in.

Then, when I get up Archer is so lovey!

The best part of my day so far? While watching Young and the Restless with Mommy, he smiles a big huge smile when a kitty comes on the screen and says, "Kih Kih. Meaow."

He opens his little mouth so wide and really holds out the 'ow' part. I just love it!!

Getting Ready to Party!!

I have all the supplies I need: plates, cups, napkins, silverware.

I bought the cake mixes, because I'm a cheater. And I have the ingredients for the frosting. I bought a few trays from walmart to put everything on.

There isn't really a theme, but everything I've bought so far is green.

My best friend is coming early Friday to help me set up and I haven't seen her in 3 weeks, so I'm ready!!

Lastly, our backyard is a wreck! We had been saving our old couch to maybe give to my nephew or use in case of an emergency, I don't really know what we were thinking. But, with the prospect of birthday toys, plus the ones we have already bought, the couch is getting trashed.

Chance carried it out Sunday, but has yet to take it to the city dumpsters. We also have a dryer behind the garage that went out last week that needs to go to the dumpsters too.

The entire yard needs mowing, and the front needs weed-eating. My tomato plant is in shambles and needs cleaned up too.

Everything else would be great if the stinking, dying neighbor cat would stop getting it's nastiness on everything. Both of our lawn chairs have been scummed up with nasty hair, and then flies just swarm to where the hair is, it's really gross.

I've been trying to clean a little each day, so that just in case anyone wants to come hang out after my entire house will be nice and clean! Ready for it to be over with!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


The toy we ordered for Arch's birthday is supposed to be delivered today.

It is on the UPS truck according to Amazon.

So here I sit, waiting, clothed, while my bath is waiting for me because it's raining and I don't want the stinking UPS guy to leave it on the porch.

Should have used FedEx. I know the FedEx guy, I would trust him to put it between the glass and the other door.

But no, now I have to wait.

Toy came at 4:25, now my bath water is cold.

Rumors going around

My mom told me today that the rumor going around town is that the pastor that was murdered wasn't stabbed, but that the wounds were ritualistic.

That is so creepy and scary to me.

On one hand I really hope that isn't true, that someone is specifically targeting a pastor for that matter, that could mean others will be targeted also.

On the other hand, I would feel slightly safer given that I'm not a pastor. I know that's horrible, to put that out there, but knowing that it wasn't just a random person targeted would keep from being scared at every bump in the night.

New Moon Trailer!!!!!!

The Twilight Saga: New Moon 'Meet Jacob Black' Preview in HD

Archer enjoying his NEW TRUCK!

My dad left Archer's present, a tonka dump truck out the other night when we went out, and he just flocked to it. He loved it soo much, he just kept pushing it around the whole time we were in the house!

Operation Toybox Clean-up has Begun

So far, I KNOW that Archer is getting a few large toy items.

We got him a tricycle that he can use until he's big. He loves it, he's already pushing it around and driving it like a big boy. He even tries to use the pedals.

My parents got him a big Tonka dump truck that he fell in love with instantly. The first thing he did was push it around as soon as my dad took it out of the box. My cousins who are 3 and 5 have one each, and all the kids at my Poppy's love them. They even put the little kids, Archer mostly, in the bucket and drive them around.

And we also ordered that Playhut Mega Playland thing, it's like tunnels and a ball pit. It's supposed to be arriving today. It's 10 total feel long, but the good news is that you can use as many or as few of the tunnels that you want.

His mom said she is buying him a rocking bull. We just don't have room for big toys like that, but Chance's mom always buys things that are useless. I registered for a Bouncinette, and they bought this hideous rocker that didn't match anything we had. Chance wouldn't let me take it back, he said they didn't have to match. It's currently in the closet, Archer has never once sat in it.

So, since the birthday is tomorrow and the party is Friday, it's time to start getting rid of baby toys no longer played with and make room for the big boy toys!

Chance's parents have changed direction and got Arch a wagon. Thank the lord.

A little entertainment for ya!

While browsing through gadgets, I found one for a playlist. I knew you could add music, but I wasn't sure how to get a playlist of multiple songs. So, I figured it out! YAY!

It's not really as pretty as I would prefer it to be, but for the time being it's what I want.

I have included some of my very favorite songs. I listen to all types of music, really just depends on my mood, but generally mellow sounds like these are my favorites. I can listen to them at any time and just enjoy them.

I hope anyone reading this might enjoy too!

Research and writing

Sorry to innudate everyone with college stories, but it's on my brain thick right now.

As I said earlier, I used to hate hate writing papers. Really, it was the research and the formal formats I hated, but now I think it's rather interesting.

For my lifespan class I have to write two super short papers (3 pages MAX) and they are not to be reports. They are only to be a question, something you want to know the answer to, ie Should ritalin be taken, Should children be vaccinated, Why are divorce rates so high, etc.

Right now, I'm thinking something along the lines of stress and coping strategies for one, and something to do with Early Childhood development for the other.

Any suggestions?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Murder in a little town

As I previously mentioned a pastor was murdered in her church in my town.

Today new details were released, and honestly they aren't any source of comfort or relief for my little town.

The DA released a statement saying it was the most horrific crime of his tenure. That the murderer was evil and souless.

The medical examiner released the cause of death, multiple sharp force injuries. Homicide.

The OSBI has offered a $10k reward for details leading to the prosecution of the murderer.

None of that makes me sleep any easier at night.

The DA's statement could be referring to a pastor being killed in her own church on a Sunday morning, but I'm sure he isn't. The ME's statement is chilling, what does that mean? If they were stab wounds, wouldn't they say that? The reward? That's the worst part, that means they have nothing to go on.

This church is definitely on the edge of the wrong side of town, I would not live there. Even before this obviously, damn sure won't be living there now. There are drug addicts and winos roaming the alleys. It's just a shady place to be after dark.

PS, it's 2 blocks from the police station.

My worries are, it doesn't seem like a random drug murder or burglary gone bad. The door was locked from the inside. It just really freaks me out, I know this kind of thing happens, but man, not in Oklahoma. Definitely not less than a mile from my home.

A little quiet on the homefront

I am really trying to not be my procrastinating undergraduate slacker self, and have really been doing my homework!

The undergrad college I went to was a liberal arts college, meaning everything was interconnected. We learned about the history and philosophy of math and science, not just the principals. And in history and philosophy we learned about great mathmeticians, etc etc.

I loved it, it's a little quirky and so are probably half of the student body. It has a major art department and is a big Art locale. We had people from all over the US and several other countries come for either art or soccer.

But back to the point at hand, what do you think happens when your learning overlaps from class to class? You feel the need to not go to all of them because you learned about this in x class last week. Thus started my horrible habit of going once a week.

I was also only made to write a few papers, less than 5 of that I'm sure. The only really major one was in a psychology class. I loathed writing papers up until last year when I helped a friend with a term paper, and now I get it.

I'm actually pretty sure I had it all along, I was just surpressing my potential.

Now that I'm back in school again, I'm really going to bust it out and work hard and show my old self up. I can make good grades by going to class and reading the book (which I seldom ever bought in the past) and doing the work early instead of the night before.

So, what's all that about? I have already done 2 assigments in my Lifespan class, therefore things have been a little quiet on the homefront! : )

Monday, August 24, 2009

Scary, scary!

I'm feeling extremely insecure in my house recently. It's a really old house, and we have a hard time hearing anything other than the window a/c that's right next to the bed. We heard some bumping the other night, at around 1 am, only to find our new neighbors were pulled into the yard (Which is so stupid in the first place, as our houses are set pretty high up on a hill and we only have front street parking.) and were making all kinds of noise.

Well now this happens:

I'm totally freaked out. Our house is NOT in a bad part of town, it's just on the older side of town. It's the original township area. But that happened about 12 blocks from me.

Now I'm getting all OCD about checking the locks before bed and waking up at any tiny little sound I hear.

First Day!

I just got home from my first class! It seems like it's going to be great!!!

I am doing tele-classes from a regional university at the small liberal arts school I graduated from. It's only about 20 minutes away.

I was able to enroll in 3 of the classes I wanted, and am considering enrolling in a reading class just to have some experience for when I'm teaching.

Sorry so short, have to clean the kitchen, the baby, and then get him to bed so I can relax.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

A Good Ending

Read a blog earlier from a woman I've been following. She is a mother of 4 (I think) and one of her children has multiple disabilities.

She was blogging about having "one of those days" and how she was feeling overwhelmed. She was feeling overwhelmed with laundry, her son's physical therapy (pt), a small construction project to repair some electrical work, etc. One of her daughters has been fighting off lice. The other, upon arrival at home after a family vacation with her dad also had nits. She yells at her husband to go to the store and get enough Rid for both girls. The construction stops when her uncle who was helping finds termite and rot damage to the front door frame, which ends up getting ripped out. She goes up to the bathroom to regroup, and finds nits in her own hair.

She sends her husband out to get the Rid, and at the end of the day still has the energy to laugh with her girls.

That is inspiring to me. I've been feeling frustrated a lot lately, and this is really eye opening.

School tomorrow

So, time is long gone for me to get a job teaching, school here started 2 weeks ago with the bigger schools starting last week. I was still holding out hope for a really big district about 45 minutes away, but I still haven't heard anything from them.

I feel a little torn about it. On one hand, it would have been nice to be a little freer with our money, but on the other I'm glad to be home.

So, with all of that said, I am 99% sure that I will be going back to school starting tomorrow. I still have to enroll, and tomorrow is the deadline for enrollment.

I decided to do this super last minute. I talked to my old advisor who said it should take me 4 semesters. I already have 6 hours finished and the total program is 32 hours plus a 150 hour practicum. I'm not sure if she's counting the practicum into that 4 semesters or not, but hopefully not.

Anyway, I'm really excited to feel like I'm doing something with my life again, but I'm also really anxious. I will only be gone on Monday from 5-11 and Tuesday from 5-8 (assuming I get to enroll in the classes I want) so it's not the time away, I think I'll enjoy having some time to myself.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

How important should something be?

I have the tendency to blog about the most mundane unimportant things, and I'm truly sorry about that. This comes from the thought that I would tell everyone just how much I love Buttery Salt and Cracked Pepper popcorn. It's my favorite. However, that would just be ridiculous. I'm not an advertising firm.

So that thought got me thinking, what do you include in a blog? When something is random, yet slightly boring should you go ahead and write it anyway and hope one of your readers will get something from it?

I'm thinking I sometimes end up saying stupid things, like Baby in Dirty Dancing, "I carried a watermelon." Makes you want to say, "Really? That's nice." And then ignore everything else they say.

I also tend write more about my thoughts and my previous experiences. I love reading witty and informative blogs, they have so much going on in their life that I don't. I also follow blogs about people I don't even know, just as long as they have something I like to read. : )

So, what I would like to know is, when do you blog? When you have something specific to say about an occurence in your life (wedding, birthday, party, etc) or do you just keep us up with your day to day life.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Hehe, Halloween Costume

So my cousin's little boy is going as a werewolf, so I'm thinking vampire??

Birthday Party Invite!

This is the electronic version of Archer's birthday party invitation. I'm not one to spend a lot of money on invites. I've called everyone and sent this via email to everyone who has email. This will just have to do. I'd rather spend our small budget on presents for my sweet boy! : )


What a morning!

We are up! We orginally woke up at 630. Chance (who is off on Fridays) woke me up to tell me Archer was crying. I run to his room to check on him, and there are little tiny poop balls all over. His diaper is laying outside his crib and he's bawling. At this point, it's still dark, so I run him to the playpen and go back to the crib ripping the sheets off to put in the washer.

Chance gets up to see what's going on and starts wiping Archer down. Archer of course hates this and is still crying. He just wanted to be picked up and snuggled, and his daddy wasn't doing that. I got finished tossing the sheets and his bear in the washer and gathered him up. I wiped him down, head to toe. I washed his hands because he had poo all over them and then I gathered him up on the couch and we snuggled until he fell back to sleep.

Now we are up for the day! And my whole right side hurts from holding him, but it was worth it.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Quick House History Lesson

I have shared my blog and pictures of my house, but how about a quick lesson?

My tiny little 1100 square feet house was built in 1952. It has had 3 families, including mine, occupying it. The first, built the house and stayed in it until 1954. After that, my great grandparents, Willie and Bernice bought it.

My Nanny (their daughter) lived here from the time she was 12 until she married my grandpa. Something I didn't learn until after I already lived here was that they were married in my living room, just a few feet from where I am sitting. It was not a shotgun wedding, my mom was a honeymoon baby born 10 months later.

Willie and Bernice died in 1972 and 1973, respectively. All of their belongings, the house, the land, etc went into a trust between my Nanny and her 4 brothers.

My Nanny's oldest brother took care of the house then. He actually came to town to take showers and use the phone because the extremely small house/shanty he lived in didn't really have those accomodations. His son and daughter in law lived here for a brief stint in the later 70's or some time in the early 80's.

In the 90's my great uncle built a new house and no longer had a need for the town phone and shower.

After that, it sat empty. My Poppy (My Nanny's husband) was paid for upkeep and maintenance. He mowed the yard twice weekly in the summers, and checked every Friday on his way to the grocery store.

When I graduated from college, I talked with my family about buying it cheaply so we could fix it up. Everyone said we would not buy it, they would just deed it over. Well, all but one of my great uncles children, he passed away a few years before.

The cousin who lived here with his wife in the 70/80's was offered, by the great uncle's children who didn't want us to have the house for nothing, to buy their share of the family land. He agreed, but also wanted their share of the house.

Once that happened, he deeded it right over to Chance and I. I repeated the same process with the other brothers kids and here we are now.

While this 2 bedroom house is nothing like the house my great grandparents lived in, it still has some great history. My only hope is that they can see all the work we have done and are pleased. I know my Nanny would love the turquoise paint in the kitchen, it was one of her favorite colors.

My other blog

My other blog is all about the progress on our house. I haven't blogged much about it lately, but we have made some progress on it in the past few months.

Anyway, we made a big change in the kitchen today, so go check it out!!
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