Thursday, September 10, 2009

Get the ruler out!

I had a realization yesterday about men and their peepee's. I wrote this REALLY long blog about it. It was really good. I'll try to repeat it as best as possible.

About a month and a half ago, we got some extra money from a side job Chance did. (Definition of a side job: work that is not done during normal business hours and of which the pay is not regular income counted on to pay bills) We really weren't expecting to get it when we did, and we didn't expect to get as much as we did.

We go to walmart to buy a new computer since I have been using my mom's since April. We find the one we want, only to *find* that the only one they have is the display, which they don't sell. Chance spends a few minutes wandering around the electronic area (I know, what was I doing letting him even look.) and decides that he wants to get a surround system. After some begging on his part and a promise that he will buy the new computer with the left over money and his next pay check, we get the surroud system that matches the big screen tv we bought this last spring.

So that he can feel superior and prove that he does in fact have the biggest peepee of them all, my husband immediately starts calling his male counterparts to tell them all about his purchase.

His first call, his dad. His dad really isn't interested. He still has a console tv. He is proud that his son can buy these items and carry on the family legacy.

His second call is to his boyfriend. (If you've forgotten about the boyfriend, you can find him here, here, and here

He takes the bait. They talk for at least 30 minutes about who has the bigger pe--I mean, better sound system. Boyfriend also has the exact same model tv, ours is just newer and the speaker is on the bottom not the sides. So, of course any time either of them is here or there, they have to debate which has the better tv. They don't stop there of course, they also talk about who has the better truck, or better whatever. Chance of course wins because he has an heir who can continue the male legacy of peepee measuring.

His final call is to my dad. Chance works with my dad, so he also got money from this same side job, only he got more because he was running said job while Chance was doing most of the work. (I'm not being snotty about this, it's basic laborer boss dynamic.) This call about the sound system has worked my dad up, he now needs a new tv and sound system also. My mom is put out because now my dad is going to blow money on a tv and sound system.

This past weekend my dad buys his new crap and they still have to call each other and say, "Does yours do this?"

Chance says that isn't the only thing they do either. He actually told me this last night. They also compare food at lunch, as in they boast and say who has the better food every day at lunch, even though they are both eating microwave warmed up junk. Chance says he won yesterday because, while he had a cheesy weiner (No really, the Better Cheddar kind) my dad had a cold steak. Steak would be the automatic winner, but it was cold and he didn't have anything to go with it, so he lost.

Boys, no one really cares who's is bigger. It's ok. : )


Kristen said...

LMAO...that was great!

Sally said...

Thanks, but mostly, it's all true. I was a little shocked when Chance admitted to being caveman-ish last week, I finally had the proof!!

Anonymous said...

LOL at times like that, i'm glad my husband doesn't conform to the male stereotype. although, if someone presented him with a better surround sound system, he'd probably try to make one from scratch just for the heck of it!

Rikki said...

LOL I know exactly what you mean. One thing that my husband does to "prove his manhood" is if we are cooking together, and say we need to cut some potatoes, I'll get out an average size knife but he will pull out the biggest sharpest knife we own. I always ask him why and he says he doesn't know he just likes it. I'm serious when I say this knife is huge, it's supposed to be used to carve turkeys and stuff.

Valérie said...
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