Saturday, October 10, 2009

DSS: Southern Living

I seem to constantly have this internal feud with myself over who I want to be.

I've always felt as though I'm a little too open minded and liberal in my thinking to be from a small southern place like Oklahoma. I think all the time that I just don't really fit in with some of the thoughts and actions of those around me.

However, I do have very thick southern ideals. I think there are just some things you don't say to or in front of women, that it's rude. I've had someone say this was sexist in thinking, but really I don't think it is. I think women should conduct themselves in certain ways as well. Do I think that we are bound behind a stove and vacuum? No, I just think there are much clearer gender lines in the south.

I also think children of the south are expected to act a certain way that is different of that up north. We say "Yes sir" and "Yes ma'am" with no qualms and know that someday we will be sir and ma'am.

This is the same dichotomy that keeps me from deciding where I want to live. I would love to buy an old farm house and fix it up, but the thought of living in the country with no close access to a walmart, or even a small town grocer is beneath my city living standards.

Growing up on a farm with no other children my age really spurred my imagination and I really think Archer would benefit from that. However, you just can't find a great farm in our budget that is close to anything relatively convienient.

I guess for now I'll just stay here and battle with myself some more!


Nobody said...

i wish you the best of luck in that battle! i've made some horrible, desperate mistakes in my efforts to figure out where me and my family truly belong. even now, we're not where we want to be... but we know where we'd like to be some day, and that's more than where we were 3 years ago.

sorry if that doesn't make any sense. my brain is absolutely fried right now.

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