Saturday, September 26, 2009

A finding from work

Let me start this by saying, I am not anti-military. I come from a stronly military family, there are only two cousins on my Nanny's side who didn't at least attempt to get into and/or serve in the military. All of her brothers served, two of whom were on a ship on their way to Japan before Nagasaki and Hiroshima were bombed. My great grandpa, whose house I live in, and his brother both signed up during WWI, and his brother died in training during the Spanish Influenze of 1918. Ok, so, I salute the flag support our armed forces, and pray for each man, woman, and their families.

Now that I've said all of that, my job has really opened my eyes to one major downfall of the military and the life that it follows. I work in Lawton, which is the home of Fort Sill, an army base. The school district does include several schools on base, but all three of my schools are not on base.

However, many of the kids are military kids who live off base and thus go to school inside the town. I have truly seen the affect of the nomadic lifestyles these kids endure, and for so many it isn't positive. It breaks my heart to see these kids who are struggling, are unable to read, or are just behind because they are in a new school every year or whatever.

Further than that, there are kids whose speech problems or learning issues are only aggravated by the deployment of one or both parent. I can imagine from a wife's standpoint how hard daily life would be to have your spouse gone for a year, to not have their support and help in daily decision making, but for a 12 year old to have just one parent. Even more than just having one parent, is having one parent who is stressed to the max and dealing with everything tough that's going on.

It's horrible to even imagine.

The fact from my point of view is, it's detrimental to a lot of kids. And then to be put in a place like Lawton, having a population of 110k when combined with Fort Sill, is like throwing them into the lion's den. It's scary for me to be in a hallway with 600 middle school kids swarming around you, usually against the stream, and I'm 23 almost 24 years old.

Anyway all of that said, I have a paper that I have to write about developing psychology, and I'm thinking it's going to be about this.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

In other news!

I found this super neat little wine bistro and grill just blocks from one of my schools, and even though I'm not currently a big wine drinker, I think it might be a great way unwind.

I told Chance we were sooo eating there!!

Monday, September 21, 2009


Day was super long, as I had class at 5. I got home about 8. I'm super tired!!

It seems like I will be working with some really great people, which I love. I will be floating between 3 schools, but they are all in a 10 minute radius.

My only concern is that I'm a little out of practice. My brain is more on the Mommy wavelength vs the education/speech path wave length, so I'll have to stretch it and tune it to do what needs to be done!!

Night all!!

PS, Did I mention I have a super sweet husband who told me happy anniversary today. When we were kids, we would always do something special on each monthiversary, and today happens to be 8 years and 5 months. He's amazing.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Wish List

Chance was going on earlier about the things he would like to have once we have a little more money so I told him I would creat a to do list, and when he crossed something off he could buy it.

There are several big projects still half finished around the house, so he has plenty to do, his wish list was short though. Just a jeep, a turkey fryer, and a new gun. *rolls eyes* He's obsessed with fried turkey, I like it, but not enough to buy a turkey fryer.

So, I've been trying to think of things to culminate into my own personal wish list. I'm not a big jewelry fan, but my sister sells Premier, so I can have her order whatever.

Here's what I have so far:

1. Small notebook computer
2. New DSLR camera
3. King sized bed

That's all I can think of for right now, but man mine are all super expensive things!

Going to Bed for the Last Time

as a stay at home Mommy. I wake up tomorrow a working Mommy.

I've been good all weekend, and the finality of that statement made me cry. I hate it. I know that at some time tomorrow, I'm going to break down in tears. I hate that too.

Hopefully I will get to get online somewhere and will be able to at least look at some pics of the kiddo, maybe that will help me get through the day.

Night all


I mentioned the movie Enchanted earlier, and the fact that I'm not enthused with the overall idea of the movie.

Well, after Chance went to bed, Archer and I watched Penelope, the movie with Christina Ricci. I went into it expecting it to be silly, and your regular run of the mill JH girl movie.

After watching the movie, I can only hope that every JH girl has seen the movie. In my comparison of the two movies, I would choose the slightly more rough around the edges Penelope over Enchanted.

The Disney flick had was cute, but in my opinion it gave the wrong message. Penelope had more adult language and themes, but had the message that young girls need to hear.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

DSS-Early Childhood

ETA: After a re-read, this is slightly choppy and bounces a little. Sorry.

Last week I discussed my parents and how they got together.

How about a lesson in early childhood? At the ripe old age of 2 we moved to a trailer on the family farm. There was a ton of family always around, and when my mom was working I spent my time with my grandparents. My grandpa was diagnosed with MS in his 20's and my grandma was in the early stages of losing her sight at this point.

Days with my grandparents are some of my most cherished memories. So many of them are fading, and I'm glad of the few pictures I have of them.

My grandpa, to be here on out called Poppy always let me sit in his lap and drink his coffee when it got cold. He would let me help him shave with one of those 3 round bladed electric shavers.

My grandma, to be called Nanny, schooled me at an early age. I had this book that we kept my homework in and I would get this really awesome red heart stickers when I completed so many assignments. I was reading Dick, Jane, and Sally books by the age of 4.

Once I was in school, I would ride the bus home to the bus stop, and Poppy would pick me up in this 1960's model truck with this horn that sounds so crazy. My sister hated it, I always thought it was cool.

I spent so much time with my Nanny and Poppy because my dad worked out of state a lot. He did (and still does) construction, and places like NJ and CA made a lot more money than the jobs here. My mom worked some then, mostly at convenience stores, but once my dad was back in OK for good my mom and her sister went in together and bought their own store.

Her odd hours and my dad's alcoholism lead to us spending a lot of time with the grandparents, but I don't ever remember thinking, "I wish I was home instead of here." Ya know? It had no ill effect.

One major happening was this really bad storm. I don't remember it, but I know it caused me to be a complete freak about weather. My cousin's wife ran a quarter of a mile to my Poppy's cellar, with my baby cousin (who was the same age as me) because we were in a tornado warning. She didn't have a car, so she cut through the cotton field and had cuts all over her legs and arms. That same cousin whose wife ran, his mom was killed by a single lightening strike on a cloudy day. It wasn't even storming.

To this day, I get extremely anxious about bad weather. Literally, almost to the point of anxiety attacks. It's really the only thing that just completely freaks me out and that I'm unable to be calm and collected about.

So, some milestones, some issues, and a big phobia!!

Fairy Tale Movie?

Since Starz is free this weekend, there is lots on TV! Yeah right, but still, I DVRed "Enchanted" last night, and we watched it earlier today.

Spoiler if you haven't seen it.

Knowing it's a Disney movie, I wasn't expecting anything too risque or anything. There weren't any blatant cleavage shots or a ton of over exposing clothes. The father buys a book about famous women for the daughter instead of the fairy tale book she wanted.

Blah, blah the movie goes on in a typical fashion for disney. Singing, dancing, and gaiety. (The happy kind, not the sexual kind.) Well, you can clearly see that the father is growing feelings for the princess, and like wise. They almost kiss.

The movie winds down to the ulimate climactic moment, and guess what? True love's first kiss we've been singing about since minute 3, it's not with Prince Edward, it's with Robert McDreamy.

Now, I have no problem with true love, singing, or fairy tales. But, and this is a pretty big one, but I'm not ok with adultery. I'm sure it sounds absurd to say this, but he's planning on proposing to his girlfriend of 5 years. She was on the way to the wedding to marry her prince. They were both "in love" with these people, yet suddenly they are in love with each other.

What kind of message is that? I like the idea of the story, that we don't always have to do what is expected, that we don't fall in love after just one day, we have to date and learn about each other. I get and respect all of that.

Don't know. Maybe I'm over thinking it, I just don't like to promote the idea that we can fall out of love with one person and in love with another in a matter of days.


Archer and I shared a first tonight. We went to our first HS football game.The town we live in played a boarding school on the edge of town.


My little sister is a HS cheerleader this year, so we went to watch her for the homecoming festivities. We actually couldn't see her from where I sat, but we got some pics before!

Archer was a little worried about the band, they were just a few feet over from us. He kept staring over at them and had this really worried look on his face. After they scored a few touch downs though, he was ok about it and was clapping when we clapped and yelling when we yelled. He even danced to the band music a little.


The game was a complete blowout. My dad and I only stayed for the first quarter because as we were leaving, they scored a last second TD and brought the score to 44-0. The final score ended up being 71-0.

Great first time experience for both of us!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

I'm really trying not to whine. I let myself mope for the entire first day, and now I have to get over it.

Today is my last day with Archer until Summer.

I also realized last night that I only signed a contract through May 27. What if I buy a new car, and then can't find another job somewhere else?! I'm not going to let myself worry about it because I have to get a new car to drive 45 minutes and then drive to each school.

Anyway, kiddo is fighting nap time, gonna go help him to sleep.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Mm, Mm, Mmmm

I got to thinking today about my favorite foods!

1. Steak (I love a really juicy, albeit well cooked steak.)
2. Pizza Hut Cheese Pizza (Thin or Handtossed Crust, pan is toooo greasy.)
3. Pancakes (No explanation needed.)
4. A really great green salad (No icky lettuce, or mushrooms though.)
5. Bread (Fresh from the bakery french bread with a crusty crust. Mmm.)

Basically, that's all I could come up with. There are other things that I like, but I love those tings. I could eat them daily, and not get tired of them.


Feeling a lot better about the job situtation today.

I'm only considered a support staff person, which is kind of confusing, but really from what I can tell it means that I don't have to work inservice days.

The home daycare I was wanting to send Archer to said she doesn't want a baby as small as him. She said that if I couldn't find anything else to let her know, she might change her mind. I really hope she does!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Hollywood self esteem

Megan Fox is admitting to cutting herself and being extremely insecure.

I feel terrible for this girl. I don't really have any self esteem issues, sometimes I feel down about something or another, but I just don't have the time or energy to care what others think about me, physically or mentally.

This girl is hot. And loaded. And really hot. She's a freaking movie star.

How can you feel down about yourself? You have to have talent to be an actress, it's not as simple as it seems. You have to be hot to be the kind of actress she is. And yet she says she feels as if she has no worth. I just don't get that.

With all of that said, my cousin made the HS paper a few weeks ago, and the same paper had a survey of the actresses they thought were the hottest. It was a HS poll. Sophie Bush beat out Megan Fox. We were all shocked. Guess that much overwhelming beauty can be too much, even to high school boys, who would have guessed.

: (

I'm feeling extremely sad.

I the call that my husband has been waiting for.

I was offered a job at a public school for speech path assistant.

Shouldn't you be happy? Husband asks.

I'm not. I answer. I am trying. It will be an experience.

But once again, my entire life is shifting, not just a part of it.

On Monday, I have to be a working mom. I have to find a schedule for my child and myself that I haven't given second thought so since I figured I wouldn't have a job after the first of the school year.

I'm sad because I have to leave my baby behind. I'm sad because he's just not so much a baby anymore. I'm sad because I am.

Chance just really doesn't get this. He's never been at home, he's never have every inch of his life changed irreversibly. He's never had to change all of who he is.

Now, there is a good side to this. I will be making $30 an hour, that's good. We will be able to get central heat and air installed before the dead cold of winter. I will be able to go with my sister and blow money on ridiculous things on shopping trips. And so on and so forth.

The thing is, I don't care about the money.

Maybe I'm just scared. Afraid of changing again. Maybe I'll even get over it.

For now I'm just sad.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

13th Tale

I completely devoured this book. I read late last night, during nap time today and even for a little while as Chance and Arch played in the floor. The instant they were in bed, I busted that book out again and finished it.

In the book, the author describes being so drawn into a book that you are completely unaware of the world moving around you. While that didn't happen with this book, it has happened to me in the past. When I was reading the Twlight Saga, it happened to me. I was so wrapped up that I couldn't do anything but read. Archer was still bfing so I could just read while he nursed and napped. I honestly stayed up until 330 to finish one of the books, and I read them all in 5 days. I actually finished the first book on the way to the theater to watch the movie. On the way back, I picked up New Moon from my sister and had it finished the by the evening of the next day. Luckily, my own personal copies came in the mail 2 days later, or I would have been suffering from withdrawals.

The Thirteenth Tale, the book I just finished, was a really good book. The author was very engaging, and I'm slightly disappointed in myself for not realizing what was happening until it was spelled out for me. I was going in all the wrong places, but once it was said outloud, I was distressed to have missed it.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys reading in general. It has very little bad language, it does talk a little about things of a not so kosher nature, but nothing that isn't absolved with the story.

Tomorrow, I must make up lost time in the homework department. Hopefully I'll have the chance to pop in the library to check out The Shadow of the Wind, by Carlos Ruiz-Zafon. More on it later!

Monday, September 14, 2009


I saw that another HB and fellow blogger had a fairly adversive reaction to penicillin and made me wonder if anyone else had children with allergies, be it major pollen allergies, food, or vaccinations?

Archer has had a reaction twice to Kraft Ranch dressing. He also had it happen once when he had eaten nothing but roast and veggies (foods he's eaten many times) and animal crackers.

It's really the crackers that worry me because one of their main ingredients is soybean oil, which just happens to rank extremely high in ranch dressing. I would really hate for him to be allergic to soybean oil, or worse just basic soy.

I think we would have encountered it more if that were the case, but you really never know.

My mom has food allergies, but mostly to preservatives and food combinations. She can eat all of the ingredients in pumpkin pie alone, and some pumpkin pies without a reaction, but others cause her to be sick instantly. (By sick I mean sneezing, coughing, watering eyes, stomach issues) She can't eat any pizza at Pizza Hut, but 10 years ago only pan pizza affected her.

I only hope that my mother's allergenic issues don't affect my child!

New Book

I added a new book to my library thing today.

It's called "The Thirteenth Tale." It's by Diane Setterfield.

I came across it on a blog yesterday, and it really sounded interesting. I don't get excited about books all that often, so I really hope it's not just hype!

I'll let you know how it turns out!

PS, Has anyone read this? If so, 1-5 stars?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Drama, Drama

I'm sure a ton of people don't agree with me, but I think that the Kanye West thing was staged.

I read an article a while back written by a celeb assistant; he didn't say who he worked for, but that he did work for a major celebrity. He said that there are so many things that are fabricated just for publicity, relationships, break-ups, etc.

Basically, two celebrities who needed a publicity boost would pretend to be in a relationship. They would be seen together in public, or maybe going to the other's house, but nothing was really happening. They were just using the paparazzi for their own benefit.

After reading that, I don't really believe anything that happens in Hollywood. The Kanye/Taylor story has been blasted all over facebook, myspace, and every news page in the world. It's a top trend on twitter. It's everywhere.

How else could they have gotten a buzz like that for the VMAs? I have seen a ton of people update their status to say they are now going to watch the late edition of the VMAs just to see the drama, would they have watched it before? No, or they would have just watched the early one.

I think it's just a blatant way to generate notoriety they wouldn't have had before.

Ok, so now I'm really going to

The class I went to tonight was really good. It was at the home of one of my sister's friends from HS and her husband. He has worked as a youth minister and is currently going to seminary to be a pastor. It can't actually be called a 'bible study' we actually just talked about religion tonight. We are currently, for the next few weeks covering religion and cults. We will eventually move to the hard questions and things you've always wanted to know about religion that you didn't already know.

There are some religions and questions that we covered that I already knew about, like Islam and Hinduism, but we also talked about Scientology. It's a religious cult, that due to it's growing popularity is being considered a religion by some.

I didn't know, and I still don't really know much about Scientology. I learned that they don't have a definition for their deity, but they do dispute the definition of biblical God.

We talked about Christian Scientists, which is not the same thing. Christian Scientists were founded by Mary Eddy. Their beliefs are slightly out there, but I can definitely see some aspects of them. One of their big things is that sickness or injury are states of mind, and to be healed you have a practitioner (a member of CS who is a liscenced healer, but not necessarily a doctor) who you pay to come in and heal you. No medical procedures are used, but you are prayed over, you are shown how to change your thinking, foods, and actions so that your body will heal. I don't agree with it, but I do think that when patients who are terminally ill with things like cancer could definitely use this type of healing in addition to regular medical healing.

Next week we will be covering Jehovah's Witness and Mormonism/LDS. I'm really interested in what he has to say about each of those. I don't mean that to sound as though I doubt him, at all, because I don't. I just think it's interesting.

Let you know more next week!!

I know, I know, I'm going to talk about it

Religion. For many people this can be a really dirty word, and I truly hate that fact. So, for now all I'm going to say is, at 6 o'clock, I'm going to a bible study class.

I'll say more later!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Defining Sally Saturday

So, after debating about what to do for a re-occuring theme, I've decided to start with myself, and all about me.

Let's start at the beginning shall we?

I have talked about my parents a little before, and their early history. Let's move them up for a few years.

My parents also met in high school, though they only dated for a short, short time. My dad actually dated both of my mom's best friends before he dated her.

My mom liked boys from out of town, (hehe) which is how she met my sister's dad. At 18 she was pregnant and on her way to be married.

My dad moved to Oklahoma City with his girlfriend, one of my mom's best friends, and eventually joined the navy. He was active for 3 years, all on a ship. The USS Grey to be exact.

When he got back, he had moved back to the hometown. He was living in a small trailer house near the car wash with his older brother. My mom was over washing her car, and he came over to ask her out. : ) How sweet eh?

Anyway, they got married a few years later, and in 1985 I came along.

We lived in Fort Cobb when I was born. It's a very small town about 600 people that is about 15 minutes from where I live right now.

When I was around 2 we moved a trailer house to the family farm. It's 100 something acres that was split in a trust between my grandma and her brothers. Now it's split between my grandpa and my great uncles children.

Growing up on that farm really shaped who I was. Don't let me mislead, though. It was a farm with cows and hay and tractors, but I have never done anything farm like. The closest thing to farm work I have ever done is get eggs from my grandpa's chickens or feed grass to my dad's goat.

That land is just rich with stories and memories though. My great Uncle, his son, my grandparents, and my parents all lived there at one time. My mom and grandpa are now the only ones left. That thought makes me sad, and if it weren't for the fact that it was out in the country I would love to build a house there. I would love to buy the land so that it didn't have to be shared. I'm greedy that way.

So, a little quick shot here. Next Defining Sally Saturday, we will have my childhood! Stay tuned

Archer's Photo-Blog Debut

Check out Brooke Turney Photography in the sidebar over there ------>

She just posted a blog of Arch's pics!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Get the ruler out!

I had a realization yesterday about men and their peepee's. I wrote this REALLY long blog about it. It was really good. I'll try to repeat it as best as possible.

About a month and a half ago, we got some extra money from a side job Chance did. (Definition of a side job: work that is not done during normal business hours and of which the pay is not regular income counted on to pay bills) We really weren't expecting to get it when we did, and we didn't expect to get as much as we did.

We go to walmart to buy a new computer since I have been using my mom's since April. We find the one we want, only to *find* that the only one they have is the display, which they don't sell. Chance spends a few minutes wandering around the electronic area (I know, what was I doing letting him even look.) and decides that he wants to get a surround system. After some begging on his part and a promise that he will buy the new computer with the left over money and his next pay check, we get the surroud system that matches the big screen tv we bought this last spring.

So that he can feel superior and prove that he does in fact have the biggest peepee of them all, my husband immediately starts calling his male counterparts to tell them all about his purchase.

His first call, his dad. His dad really isn't interested. He still has a console tv. He is proud that his son can buy these items and carry on the family legacy.

His second call is to his boyfriend. (If you've forgotten about the boyfriend, you can find him here, here, and here

He takes the bait. They talk for at least 30 minutes about who has the bigger pe--I mean, better sound system. Boyfriend also has the exact same model tv, ours is just newer and the speaker is on the bottom not the sides. So, of course any time either of them is here or there, they have to debate which has the better tv. They don't stop there of course, they also talk about who has the better truck, or better whatever. Chance of course wins because he has an heir who can continue the male legacy of peepee measuring.

His final call is to my dad. Chance works with my dad, so he also got money from this same side job, only he got more because he was running said job while Chance was doing most of the work. (I'm not being snotty about this, it's basic laborer boss dynamic.) This call about the sound system has worked my dad up, he now needs a new tv and sound system also. My mom is put out because now my dad is going to blow money on a tv and sound system.

This past weekend my dad buys his new crap and they still have to call each other and say, "Does yours do this?"

Chance says that isn't the only thing they do either. He actually told me this last night. They also compare food at lunch, as in they boast and say who has the better food every day at lunch, even though they are both eating microwave warmed up junk. Chance says he won yesterday because, while he had a cheesy weiner (No really, the Better Cheddar kind) my dad had a cold steak. Steak would be the automatic winner, but it was cold and he didn't have anything to go with it, so he lost.

Boys, no one really cares who's is bigger. It's ok. : )

Missing Posts!?!

Last night, I posted this super long blog about men and their tendencies. I posted one about a small world. When I went to bed I had 149 posts.

I wake up this morning, 145. Where did the other posts go?!!!?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

One more quick thing

AF just arrived. She only visits sporadically, usually only after I freak out enough to take a pg test. The bitch.

Anyway, went to the store yesterday to buy said pg test. Don't you hate that stare down you get. Everytime I feel like I'm a 15 year old boy asking for condoms, and the check out lady just stares at me, in judgement because I clearly have a baby. Just makes me want to slap her. (Or it could be the AF hormones wanting to slap her, guess I'll never know)

I'm not sure how I would react to someone buying condoms and pregnancy tests if I worked at walmart. I'm sure you have to be all professional and pretend like it's the same thing as socks, but really, I'm nosy and it would be hard.

When we were trying to get pregnant with Archer I bought my very first one, and wouldn't you know the damn alarm went off at walmart, sending me back because of their inventory control system. The guy who checked my bag wished me luck, on however I wanted it to turn out.

Which brings me to another point. I hate how some tests have happy faces. Is it a sad face if you aren't pregnant? I really don't believe in the happy/sad face mechanism because that's only serving half the population. I'm pretty sure there are some extra hormonal 18 year old girls out there that want to kick that happy face in the nuts when it pops up on the pregnancy test she takes. It's not always a good thing for all people.

I'm not saying that babies aren't always a good thing, but there are definitely situations when people shouldn't reproduce. Therefore, lets end the happy face pregnancy tests, mmmkay?

On a lighter note

Just saw a commercial for fiber plus granola bars. Seriously, they took out extra sugar, gag. Added almonds, a plus. Traded milk chocolate for dark, gag. I'm thinking this thing can't be good.

I love granola bars, but I can only imagine this is sticky oats, no sugar, and dark chocolate ickiness.

By the way, who really actually likes dark chocolate? I go out of my way to avoid it.

Feeling a lot?

Lately I've really been feeling as though there is so much more I should be doing, just with my life in general. I feel like I'm getting behind, that everything is just moving too fast for me to even stand up straight, more or less move with it.

I am more than blessed to even be given the opportunity to get to stay at home and take care of my son, my husband and my house. Mostly, I do it so that I get to wake up and see my smiley boys face and play with him all day, but the other reasons are part of it.

The thing is, financially, if I were working we would be in such a better place, our income would be basically doubled. We are surviving, we can afford groceries and gas and basic necessities, but we don't eat out. We don't really go out. Archer has a lot of hand me down toys, but I don't let myself care about that, because really he could care less. I like to think that he will one day look back and be glad that he got to spend time with his mommy and not even think about those used toys.

My biggest issue with my situation is, Chance works long days at a job that he really isn't that enthusiastic about. He has been paying 100% of our bills since 2006. He does it because it's necessary. Of course, back then he payed the bills and my extra scholarship money and my income from my extremely part time job was blown on stuff like video games, dates, clothes, and whatever other fun stuff we wanted to do.

I'm not saying this in a deragtory way, but I am smarter than him. I am academically smart, and he can build or fix whatever you want. Statistically, I should be making more money than him. But, I'm not making anything.

I was called to a job interview last week that I didn't go to. It was an education and work counselor at one of the tribal offices nearby. Honestly, that's not my ideal work situation, I'm not sure why I applied, but I did.

Chance was really upset that I didn't want to go to the interview; he didn't say much, he just pouted about it. I really felt like I didn't know anything about the job and didn't want to go interview for something I knew nothing about. Plus I didn't want to go and interview only to be turned down again.

I completely understand why I didn't get every single teaching position I didn't get. The very first interview I went on, the school didn't have the budget to hire anyone, otherwise I would have had the job. The second one my sister told me about, it was at the job she had been a secretary at. I really wasn't qualified for it yet. I hadn't even taken the test, but I had scheduled it for later that month. The third I was qualified, but not "Highly Qualified" per NCLB standards.

The last school I applied at still has open positions listed in the newspaper, but I haven't heard anything from them, which sucks. I always have really great self confidence, but my professional confidence is a little bruised. I just feel like I need to be doing so much more with myself, for myself and my family.

After saying here and telling my friend who works for the school system I last applied at that I hadn't heard anything, I got a call from them 10 minutes ago to come interview Friday. Now I'm freaked!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

More on my little friend Jon

Apparently Jon Gosselin is a bigger douche bag than I thought he was.

On GMA, he's alledging that he was abused. That he was left behind with the kids while Kate was out "traveling." That what broke their marriage down was his saying, I'm going out with my friends.

Am I the only one who hears all of this in the whiny voice of a 5 year old? Seriously? You weren't abused, you were a baby. Man up, if you want to wear the pants, then wear them, but you've got to step up your game my friend.

Oh, and your wife wasn't out "traveling" she was WORKING. You know, that's where the money came from that bought your car and 5k square foot Trump Towers place. Working Jon, you should try it.

His actual words were, 'the straw that broke the camel's back was when I stood up to Kate.' He stood up to her by saying, "I'm going out with my friends." (Imagine these words with a pout, you know, really stick your lips out.) Geez. You have 8 kids, you don't get to go out and play with your friends all the time. Oh, and PS your friends are 22 year old females, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't let you hang out with them either.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Need another Monday

Mondays are not the bane of my existence as they are others.

Mondays are generally my make up days from the weekend.

This being a holiday weekend, Monday is going to be Tuesday this week, but I still have a TON to do.

This week is going to be super busy. The fair in the town I grew up in is this weekend. It's a great place to go and just catch up with people from high school. It's a really great family atmosphere and the games and ride tickets are 50 cents each, with nothing needing more than 3 tickets.

My mom, sister and I are going and taking the kids every night, then the parade is Saturday. My sister and her husband are entering a float.

Chance was teasing me about being excited about it, but it's really just something to do. : )


Guess what time I woke up today? Noon, that's what time.

Now that might seem like I'm asking my son to keep me up late at night by sleeping that late. However, considering that he did not go to sleep until 1 am, and then woke up at 430 am for an hour just kills me.

You would think that all that catch up sleep would be good for me, and sleep-wise I am better. However, we had a frozen pizza last night, I had heartburn when I woke up and it has not gone away.

On a brighter note, I found one of my books on ebrary last night for one of my classes. That really brightened my day! To buy it would have been over $100.

Now I have done two assignments and feel like I'm really not going to be a procrastinator this time around!!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Rant a little?

It seems I have doomed myself to severe insomnia. Well, not by choice, but I took Archer's bottle away last week, and since that very next day he hasn't slept for crap.

Here's a little recap of yesterday's sleep. Wake up at 11, take a nap at 3:30 (which I just had to put him in bed and let him CIO because he wouldn't sleep), stay up until 2:30 am and then finally go to bed.

This is killing my natural sleep rhythm. I have to drag myself awake in the mornings and by the time Archer is asleep, I'm dead tired. I don't really take naps, I just fell useless after a nap. Plus, there is so much to get done during nap time.

On top of all of that, Chance stayed home yesterday. Usually Saturdays are my day to myself, but not yesterday. I really needed the break, but thankfully I'm home today sans child and husband. Already got some toys cleaned up, hopefully the rest of the day I can relax!!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

My poor husband

After the long hot summer, Chance was really looking forward to a nice, long (and by long I mean playoffs) OU football season.

He really got into watching sports last year. He never really cared, but having a baby and not a lot of spending money means you spend a lot of time at home. Thus, every Saturday night instead of dinner and a movie, we watched college football to a home cooked meal.

He got really involved after that to say the least. He's kept up with the team in the off season, watches videos online, etc etc.

He was REALLY looking forward to this football season.

Seconds before half time, their star quarter back, 2008 Heisman Trophy winner, Sam Bradford takes an awful hit and is laying on the ground clutching his shoulder. My heart stopped, you never want to see a player injured. As a mother all I can think is, this poor kid, because he is just a kid. He's just a junior in college. (See previous post about my personal feelings on these hits and how they relate to my son.)

I call my dad, just to make sure he hasn't had a heart attack. (He's not allowed to until November 1st, my mom took out a heart attack/stroke/cancer policy on him that doesn't go into affect until then.) He hadn't, but of course I had to hold the phone miles away from my ear to keep from getting any permanent damage.

They come back after half time to say that he will not be coming back in, looks likely he has some kind of sprain that takes weeks of rehab.

When the #3 team lost to the #20 team my husband was outside smoking a cigar, I think he was hoping it would relieve some of his extreme anxiety. You wouldn't believe how thick the tension in the room was after poor Sam was injured.

So, at the end of the night, I pray for Sam Bradford, this could very well end his career if it's bad enough. I pray for my dad's heart, he really shoudn't stress about things he can't change. And I pray that my O-State loving cousins don't mercilessly attack my husband's facebook page, even though with all the instigating he has been doing the month leading up to football season, he deserves it.


Living vicariously

Chance complains constantly about how he didn't get to play football in highschool. Our school didn't have it, but the two bigger schools nearby did.

We now live in a town where football is offered. He insists that Archer will play (or at least try out) football. I go back and forth on this issue.

I love watching football, but I really don't want my baby boy getting slammed to the ground and bruised. As a high school football player, I know the hits he will be taking will be much more severe.

I would love for him to play baseball. It's so laid back and much more challenging. It's not based on brute strength, it's based on technique.

But no, the caveman inside my husband insists my son prove his caveman-ness too.

ETA: When I asked why football and not baseball, wanna know the answer? "Because it's manlier." I knew he was a secret caveman.

Friday, September 4, 2009

President in School?

There is a big uproar right now about the President speaking in schools via Satellite and internet.

The local news station does a "2 cents" segment where the reporter talks about an issue, shares his opinion and viewers call, text or email in a response.

I was shocked at the amount of people who felt that this was brainwashing or abuse of power. One person even called the President Hitler for doing this.

I will say, I did not vote for Obama. I don't agree with everything he is doing, but I fully believe that as the president of the United States, he does deserve some respect. For anyone to suggest he's Hitler for wanting to speak with America's children is insane to me.

I can only imagine as a child how cool it would have been to be able to listen to the president talk, in an address targeted toward me and my friends. After first hearing about this I even told Chance that (if) when I get a teaching job, it would be so cool to talk to a representative or the governor and have them do something similar to this.

I also think it would be super cool for the president to make his address a weekly thing and do shout-outs to specific schools and have specific things to say to them. (ie, go Mustangs or whatever) The memories that would create would be kept forever, whether the childs parents like the president or not. My great uncles remembered FDR's fireside radio chats, and still talked about them up until the time they died. I would love for my child to have something similar to this.

Now, I say all of this information with the perspective that the information shared by the president is extremely generic. I wouldn't want him pushing universal health care on my third grader, but I would love for him to talk about some of his school days and experiences, as well as a few words of encouragement.

ETA: According to the White House this address will be strictly educational and not policy.

First birthday pictures!!

The photo shoot was good! It was a little hot for September (in most places), but it's always hot here until October.

Arch didn't want to look at the camera that much, but I think some of them will turn out cute. He didn't really want to do family pictures, so we did some with each of us with him.

I can't wait to see how they turn out!! But Brooke is awesome, so I know they'll be good!

A bit of celeb gossip and an opinion.

You can't walk into a grocery store nowadays without seeing Jon and/or Kate Gosselin on a cover of something. I have an opinion on a lot of things, and this just happens to be one of them.

I thoroughly dislike Jon.

I don't care that his (ex)wife is snippy and bosses him around. I don't care that she sometimes comes across as hateful and belittling toward him. Those are reasons for marriage counseling, not divorce.

I just started watching the show last year. I loved seeing the natural family dynamic and struggle to raise so many children under the same house. Now I feel as though everything about it is posed and extremely unnatural. (Even before the divorce.)

I see the things (that are edited, I do realize this) that Jon says, and it just makes me want to slap him. From the things you see and read, he doesn't have any regrets or sympathy for his actions. He doesn't seem to care that he has really and truly hurt Kate.

Some might say he's just finally grown the balls to deal with her, but I think he's being an insensitive prick.

Now, I will go ahead and admit this as well. I see a lot of Kate in myself. I don't go around screaming at my husband or child, but there are times when I yell. There are times when I feel so frustrated that I just can't sit with my mouth shut and say things like, "Wash this crap off your plate and put it in the dishwasher. It's really not that hard."

I have one husband, who has lived through A LOT and is extremely mature and one child. I can only imagine having a husband who acts the way Jon is portrayed and 8 children. It would be hard, for me anyway. There are mothers, like the Duggar woman who doesn't seem to have any trouble constantly being nice to her million children, but I just can't imagine it.

I think I would always be aggravated at one of them, there are just too many for all of them to be on their best behavior 24 hours a day. I never imagined myself a stay at home mom either, maybe it just comes. Who knows.

Other than the children, to have a husband who runs around the country skiing and spending time with friends when he is married is just odd to me. How can you say you are taking care of your family when you are snowboarding in Vail for 3 weeks? Alone with "friends." I just don't get that kind of behavior. He has a super expensive, non family car, a chopper, he jet sets all over while Kate does book tours and public speaking. He whines about her being gone and his having to take care of the kids. He whines about the publicity and how he wants a normal life.

I have two things to say about that. First, you don't seem to mind not having a normal life when you are living in a 1.2 million dollar house (or a Donald Trump high rise now), driving a $50k car, and going on vacations regular people couldn't even dream of. And second, if Jon Gosselin were just a normal guy, he wouldn't have women flocking to him. Who wants a cheater with 8 kids, and an ex like Kate?! Like I said, I like Kate, but I sure wouldn't want to be with her ex husband, I can only imagine the catty things she would say both to your face and behind your back. To answer my question, no one. No one wants a "normal" Jon, especially with all of his baggage.

But what I do know is, I would definitely have to inflict massive pain, either emotional or physical, to my husband if he EVER acted like Jon.

Sorry if you don't agree. You can comment if you want, but I really don't care. I'm still gonna think what I want. lol

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Wanna know a big secret?

Sorry, I don't have any big ones.

But, I do have this little bit of information that is totally irrelevant to anything important. : ) I have only told this to one person, out loud.

I am currently on financial aid suspension. : ( Wanna know why?

Because I dropped all of my classes my last semester in the middle of the semester because it wasn't what I wanted to do and because I thought I had a job lined up that would require me to work full time.

So, now I am praying that I can get an appeal, or I will be $1500 in the hole for these classes I am taking. : ( Scary huh?

So, tomorrow, I have to go for a job interview. I doubt I will get it, it's for a tribe. It involves counseling people in an education/career aspect. I have no idea how much it pays, so I might be wasting my time anyway. But, I figure there is never any harm in interviewing, just gives you that much more experience. And, I haven't interviewed for real jobs all that much.

After the interview, I'm off to the college to take my appeal letter and the rest of my financial aid documents. Keep your fingers crossed that they will appeal me and I can get my scholarship!!

A lapse in technology

Right before Christmas, Chance and I decided that we did not need cellphones. Our contracts were up, and really, they were a bonus we didn't need. I am home all day long, and he is with my dad all day long. We are both generally always with people who will have cell phones.

I was totally addicted to having mine. I sent more text messages than most bratty hs kids.

My thing with texting though was a little more complex. When we moved from the town we lived in while I was in college, I quit my job, I left behind all of my friends from work and school, I was home bound all the time because we just didn't have the money for me to drive over there and hang out for no reason. Plus it was the middle of summer, and I was too hot and pregnant to get out and drive 40 minutes to hang out. Plus, all of said friends were either in school or at work. I felt really lost.

So, I would send hundreds of texts per day to talk to all of the people I left behind.

Back to the original converstion! We turned off the cell phones, got a home phone and internet for about $70 a month less than our two mobile phones.

Most of my friends and all of my family knew about this switch, and it wasn't too weird for me.

However, with my new classes, a classmate asked for my cellphone. I didn't say anything, but it really did feel odd to say, "I don't have one."

Did I mention, I have had a cell phone since I was 15? So, 8 years when I turned it off. It just feels odd now not to have one now, and it's the first time I have felt that way since we did it.

You always hear people say they wish they didn't have one. That it would be freeing. Well, it was for a while. I love being able to go places and not have to worry about someone calling me for whatever.

Now, it's a little awkward!

My how times have changed!

This is a silly post, just a slight forewarning.

I'm watching "Can't Buy Me Love." And at the same time, one channel over, Grey's Anatomy is on. I think it's hilarious that Patrick Dempsey went from the skinny, lanky, geeky kid to the mature, totally hot Derek Shepard.

His mannerisms are the same, his voice, the way he walks all the same, but he looks so different! LOL
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