One more quick thing

AF just arrived. She only visits sporadically, usually only after I freak out enough to take a pg test. The bitch.

Anyway, went to the store yesterday to buy said pg test. Don't you hate that stare down you get. Everytime I feel like I'm a 15 year old boy asking for condoms, and the check out lady just stares at me, in judgement because I clearly have a baby. Just makes me want to slap her. (Or it could be the AF hormones wanting to slap her, guess I'll never know)

I'm not sure how I would react to someone buying condoms and pregnancy tests if I worked at walmart. I'm sure you have to be all professional and pretend like it's the same thing as socks, but really, I'm nosy and it would be hard.

When we were trying to get pregnant with Archer I bought my very first one, and wouldn't you know the damn alarm went off at walmart, sending me back because of their inventory control system. The guy who checked my bag wished me luck, on however I wanted it to turn out.

Which brings me to another point. I hate how some tests have happy faces. Is it a sad face if you aren't pregnant? I really don't believe in the happy/sad face mechanism because that's only serving half the population. I'm pretty sure there are some extra hormonal 18 year old girls out there that want to kick that happy face in the nuts when it pops up on the pregnancy test she takes. It's not always a good thing for all people.

I'm not saying that babies aren't always a good thing, but there are definitely situations when people shouldn't reproduce. Therefore, lets end the happy face pregnancy tests, mmmkay?

On a lighter note

Just saw a commercial for fiber plus granola bars. Seriously, they took out extra sugar, gag. Added almonds, a plus. Traded milk chocolate for dark, gag. I'm thinking this thing can't be good.

I love granola bars, but I can only imagine this is sticky oats, no sugar, and dark chocolate ickiness.

By the way, who really actually likes dark chocolate? I go out of my way to avoid it.

Feeling a lot?

Lately I've really been feeling as though there is so much more I should be doing, just with my life in general. I feel like I'm getting behind, that everything is just moving too fast for me to even stand up straight, more or less move with it.

I am more than blessed to even be given the opportunity to get to stay at home and take care of my son, my husband and my house. Mostly, I do it so that I get to wake up and see my smiley boys face and play with him all day, but the other reasons are part of it.

The thing is, financially, if I were working we would be in such a better place, our income would be basically doubled. We are surviving, we can afford groceries and gas and basic necessities, but we don't eat out. We don't really go out. Archer has a lot of hand me down toys, but I don't let myself care about that, because really he could care less. I like to think that he will one day look back and be glad that he got to spend time with his mommy and not even think about those used toys.

My biggest issue with my situation is, Chance works long days at a job that he really isn't that enthusiastic about. He has been paying 100% of our bills since 2006. He does it because it's necessary. Of course, back then he payed the bills and my extra scholarship money and my income from my extremely part time job was blown on stuff like video games, dates, clothes, and whatever other fun stuff we wanted to do.

I'm not saying this in a deragtory way, but I am smarter than him. I am academically smart, and he can build or fix whatever you want. Statistically, I should be making more money than him. But, I'm not making anything.

I was called to a job interview last week that I didn't go to. It was an education and work counselor at one of the tribal offices nearby. Honestly, that's not my ideal work situation, I'm not sure why I applied, but I did.

Chance was really upset that I didn't want to go to the interview; he didn't say much, he just pouted about it. I really felt like I didn't know anything about the job and didn't want to go interview for something I knew nothing about. Plus I didn't want to go and interview only to be turned down again.

I completely understand why I didn't get every single teaching position I didn't get. The very first interview I went on, the school didn't have the budget to hire anyone, otherwise I would have had the job. The second one my sister told me about, it was at the job she had been a secretary at. I really wasn't qualified for it yet. I hadn't even taken the test, but I had scheduled it for later that month. The third I was qualified, but not "Highly Qualified" per NCLB standards.

The last school I applied at still has open positions listed in the newspaper, but I haven't heard anything from them, which sucks. I always have really great self confidence, but my professional confidence is a little bruised. I just feel like I need to be doing so much more with myself, for myself and my family.

ETA:
After saying here and telling my friend who works for the school system I last applied at that I hadn't heard anything, I got a call from them 10 minutes ago to come interview Friday. Now I'm freaked!

More on my little friend Jon

Apparently Jon Gosselin is a bigger douche bag than I thought he was.

On GMA, he's alledging that he was abused. That he was left behind with the kids while Kate was out "traveling." That what broke their marriage down was his saying, I'm going out with my friends.

Am I the only one who hears all of this in the whiny voice of a 5 year old? Seriously? You weren't abused, you were a baby. Man up, if you want to wear the pants, then wear them, but you've got to step up your game my friend.

Oh, and your wife wasn't out "traveling" she was WORKING. You know, that's where the money came from that bought your car and 5k square foot Trump Towers place. Working Jon, you should try it.

His actual words were, 'the straw that broke the camel's back was when I stood up to Kate.' He stood up to her by saying, "I'm going out with my friends." (Imagine these words with a pout, you know, really stick your lips out.) Geez. You have 8 kids, you don't get to go out and play with your friends all the time. Oh, and PS your friends are 22 year old females, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't let you hang out with them either.

Need another Monday

Mondays are not the bane of my existence as they are others.

Mondays are generally my make up days from the weekend.

This being a holiday weekend, Monday is going to be Tuesday this week, but I still have a TON to do.

This week is going to be super busy. The fair in the town I grew up in is this weekend. It's a great place to go and just catch up with people from high school. It's a really great family atmosphere and the games and ride tickets are 50 cents each, with nothing needing more than 3 tickets.

My mom, sister and I are going and taking the kids every night, then the parade is Saturday. My sister and her husband are entering a float.

Chance was teasing me about being excited about it, but it's really just something to do. : )

Sleep

Guess what time I woke up today? Noon, that's what time.

Now that might seem like I'm asking my son to keep me up late at night by sleeping that late. However, considering that he did not go to sleep until 1 am, and then woke up at 430 am for an hour just kills me.

You would think that all that catch up sleep would be good for me, and sleep-wise I am better. However, we had a frozen pizza last night, I had heartburn when I woke up and it has not gone away.

On a brighter note, I found one of my books on ebrary last night for one of my classes. That really brightened my day! To buy it would have been over $100.

Now I have done two assignments and feel like I'm really not going to be a procrastinator this time around!!

Rant a little?

It seems I have doomed myself to severe insomnia. Well, not by choice, but I took Archer's bottle away last week, and since that very next day he hasn't slept for crap.

Here's a little recap of yesterday's sleep. Wake up at 11, take a nap at 3:30 (which I just had to put him in bed and let him CIO because he wouldn't sleep), stay up until 2:30 am and then finally go to bed.

This is killing my natural sleep rhythm. I have to drag myself awake in the mornings and by the time Archer is asleep, I'm dead tired. I don't really take naps, I just fell useless after a nap. Plus, there is so much to get done during nap time.

On top of all of that, Chance stayed home yesterday. Usually Saturdays are my day to myself, but not yesterday. I really needed the break, but thankfully I'm home today sans child and husband. Already got some toys cleaned up, hopefully the rest of the day I can relax!!

My poor husband

After the long hot summer, Chance was really looking forward to a nice, long (and by long I mean playoffs) OU football season.

He really got into watching sports last year. He never really cared, but having a baby and not a lot of spending money means you spend a lot of time at home. Thus, every Saturday night instead of dinner and a movie, we watched college football to a home cooked meal.

He got really involved after that to say the least. He's kept up with the team in the off season, watches videos online, etc etc.

He was REALLY looking forward to this football season.

Seconds before half time, their star quarter back, 2008 Heisman Trophy winner, Sam Bradford takes an awful hit and is laying on the ground clutching his shoulder. My heart stopped, you never want to see a player injured. As a mother all I can think is, this poor kid, because he is just a kid. He's just a junior in college. (See previous post about my personal feelings on these hits and how they relate to my son.)

I call my dad, just to make sure he hasn't had a heart attack. (He's not allowed to until November 1st, my mom took out a heart attack/stroke/cancer policy on him that doesn't go into affect until then.) He hadn't, but of course I had to hold the phone miles away from my ear to keep from getting any permanent damage.

They come back after half time to say that he will not be coming back in, looks likely he has some kind of sprain that takes weeks of rehab.

When the #3 team lost to the #20 team my husband was outside smoking a cigar, I think he was hoping it would relieve some of his extreme anxiety. You wouldn't believe how thick the tension in the room was after poor Sam was injured.

So, at the end of the night, I pray for Sam Bradford, this could very well end his career if it's bad enough. I pray for my dad's heart, he really shoudn't stress about things he can't change. And I pray that my O-State loving cousins don't mercilessly attack my husband's facebook page, even though with all the instigating he has been doing the month leading up to football season, he deserves it.

Living vicariously

Chance complains constantly about how he didn't get to play football in highschool. Our school didn't have it, but the two bigger schools nearby did.

We now live in a town where football is offered. He insists that Archer will play (or at least try out) football. I go back and forth on this issue.

I love watching football, but I really don't want my baby boy getting slammed to the ground and bruised. As a high school football player, I know the hits he will be taking will be much more severe.

I would love for him to play baseball. It's so laid back and much more challenging. It's not based on brute strength, it's based on technique.

But no, the caveman inside my husband insists my son prove his caveman-ness too.

ETA: When I asked why football and not baseball, wanna know the answer? "Because it's manlier." I knew he was a secret caveman.

President in School?

There is a big uproar right now about the President speaking in schools via Satellite and internet.

The local news station does a "2 cents" segment where the reporter talks about an issue, shares his opinion and viewers call, text or email in a response.

I was shocked at the amount of people who felt that this was brainwashing or abuse of power. One person even called the President Hitler for doing this.

I will say, I did not vote for Obama. I don't agree with everything he is doing, but I fully believe that as the president of the United States, he does deserve some respect. For anyone to suggest he's Hitler for wanting to speak with America's children is insane to me.

I can only imagine as a child how cool it would have been to be able to listen to the president talk, in an address targeted toward me and my friends. After first hearing about this I even told Chance that (if) when I get a teaching job, it would be so cool to talk to a representative or the governor and have them do something similar to this.

I also think it would be super cool for the president to make his address a weekly thing and do shout-outs to specific schools and have specific things to say to them. (ie, go Mustangs or whatever) The memories that would create would be kept forever, whether the childs parents like the president or not. My great uncles remembered FDR's fireside radio chats, and still talked about them up until the time they died. I would love for my child to have something similar to this.

Now, I say all of this information with the perspective that the information shared by the president is extremely generic. I wouldn't want him pushing universal health care on my third grader, but I would love for him to talk about some of his school days and experiences, as well as a few words of encouragement.

ETA: According to the White House this address will be strictly educational and not policy.

First birthday pictures!!

The photo shoot was good! It was a little hot for September (in most places), but it's always hot here until October.

Arch didn't want to look at the camera that much, but I think some of them will turn out cute. He didn't really want to do family pictures, so we did some with each of us with him.

I can't wait to see how they turn out!! But Brooke is awesome, so I know they'll be good!

A bit of celeb gossip and an opinion.

You can't walk into a grocery store nowadays without seeing Jon and/or Kate Gosselin on a cover of something. I have an opinion on a lot of things, and this just happens to be one of them.

I thoroughly dislike Jon.

I don't care that his (ex)wife is snippy and bosses him around. I don't care that she sometimes comes across as hateful and belittling toward him. Those are reasons for marriage counseling, not divorce.

I just started watching the show last year. I loved seeing the natural family dynamic and struggle to raise so many children under the same house. Now I feel as though everything about it is posed and extremely unnatural. (Even before the divorce.)

I see the things (that are edited, I do realize this) that Jon says, and it just makes me want to slap him. From the things you see and read, he doesn't have any regrets or sympathy for his actions. He doesn't seem to care that he has really and truly hurt Kate.

Some might say he's just finally grown the balls to deal with her, but I think he's being an insensitive prick.

Now, I will go ahead and admit this as well. I see a lot of Kate in myself. I don't go around screaming at my husband or child, but there are times when I yell. There are times when I feel so frustrated that I just can't sit with my mouth shut and say things like, "Wash this crap off your plate and put it in the dishwasher. It's really not that hard."

I have one husband, who has lived through A LOT and is extremely mature and one child. I can only imagine having a husband who acts the way Jon is portrayed and 8 children. It would be hard, for me anyway. There are mothers, like the Duggar woman who doesn't seem to have any trouble constantly being nice to her million children, but I just can't imagine it.

I think I would always be aggravated at one of them, there are just too many for all of them to be on their best behavior 24 hours a day. I never imagined myself a stay at home mom either, maybe it just comes. Who knows.

Other than the children, to have a husband who runs around the country skiing and spending time with friends when he is married is just odd to me. How can you say you are taking care of your family when you are snowboarding in Vail for 3 weeks? Alone with "friends." I just don't get that kind of behavior. He has a super expensive, non family car, a chopper, he jet sets all over while Kate does book tours and public speaking. He whines about her being gone and his having to take care of the kids. He whines about the publicity and how he wants a normal life.

I have two things to say about that. First, you don't seem to mind not having a normal life when you are living in a 1.2 million dollar house (or a Donald Trump high rise now), driving a $50k car, and going on vacations regular people couldn't even dream of. And second, if Jon Gosselin were just a normal guy, he wouldn't have women flocking to him. Who wants a cheater with 8 kids, and an ex like Kate?! Like I said, I like Kate, but I sure wouldn't want to be with her ex husband, I can only imagine the catty things she would say both to your face and behind your back. To answer my question, no one. No one wants a "normal" Jon, especially with all of his baggage.

But what I do know is, I would definitely have to inflict massive pain, either emotional or physical, to my husband if he EVER acted like Jon.

Sorry if you don't agree. You can comment if you want, but I really don't care. I'm still gonna think what I want. lol

Wanna know a big secret?

Sorry, I don't have any big ones.

But, I do have this little bit of information that is totally irrelevant to anything important. : ) I have only told this to one person, out loud.

I am currently on financial aid suspension. : ( Wanna know why?

Because I dropped all of my classes my last semester in the middle of the semester because it wasn't what I wanted to do and because I thought I had a job lined up that would require me to work full time.

So, now I am praying that I can get an appeal, or I will be $1500 in the hole for these classes I am taking. : ( Scary huh?

So, tomorrow, I have to go for a job interview. I doubt I will get it, it's for a tribe. It involves counseling people in an education/career aspect. I have no idea how much it pays, so I might be wasting my time anyway. But, I figure there is never any harm in interviewing, just gives you that much more experience. And, I haven't interviewed for real jobs all that much.

After the interview, I'm off to the college to take my appeal letter and the rest of my financial aid documents. Keep your fingers crossed that they will appeal me and I can get my scholarship!!

A lapse in technology

Right before Christmas, Chance and I decided that we did not need cellphones. Our contracts were up, and really, they were a bonus we didn't need. I am home all day long, and he is with my dad all day long. We are both generally always with people who will have cell phones.

I was totally addicted to having mine. I sent more text messages than most bratty hs kids.

My thing with texting though was a little more complex. When we moved from the town we lived in while I was in college, I quit my job, I left behind all of my friends from work and school, I was home bound all the time because we just didn't have the money for me to drive over there and hang out for no reason. Plus it was the middle of summer, and I was too hot and pregnant to get out and drive 40 minutes to hang out. Plus, all of said friends were either in school or at work. I felt really lost.

So, I would send hundreds of texts per day to talk to all of the people I left behind.

Back to the original converstion! We turned off the cell phones, got a home phone and internet for about $70 a month less than our two mobile phones.

Most of my friends and all of my family knew about this switch, and it wasn't too weird for me.

However, with my new classes, a classmate asked for my cellphone. I didn't say anything, but it really did feel odd to say, "I don't have one."

Did I mention, I have had a cell phone since I was 15? So, 8 years when I turned it off. It just feels odd now not to have one now, and it's the first time I have felt that way since we did it.

You always hear people say they wish they didn't have one. That it would be freeing. Well, it was for a while. I love being able to go places and not have to worry about someone calling me for whatever.

Now, it's a little awkward!

My how times have changed!

This is a silly post, just a slight forewarning.

I'm watching "Can't Buy Me Love." And at the same time, one channel over, Grey's Anatomy is on. I think it's hilarious that Patrick Dempsey went from the skinny, lanky, geeky kid to the mature, totally hot Derek Shepard.

His mannerisms are the same, his voice, the way he walks all the same, but he looks so different! LOL