Monday, September 26, 2011

The Illusion of...

Twice (that I can remember anyway) I have posted about control; the fact that I personally do not desire or need control because I just don't care

I'm posting about it again because it's everywhere on my mind lately. I was reading a book with a quote about control and I've seen multiple quotes or scripture bits in my newsfeed on Facebook. It's not just on my mind, it's on the minds of others around me. 

I learned a long time ago that we only ever have an illusion of control. You DO NOT ever actually have control of a situation, no matter how upset or stressed you get, you do not have control of anything but yourself. And a lot of times, people who like to think they are in control and so out of control on the inside that they are desperately grasping for control every where else. 

That desperation is the cause of the need for control. Actually, fear is the cause of the need for control. You try to control everything because you're desperately afraid of something. That desperation shows. It puts people off. Instead of making people want to bend to your will, it only makes people want to run screaming in the other direction. 

Consider the last time you persuaded someone to your side of an idea. Did you do it with confidence and charisma or did you do it with desperate fear? I'm assuming not the latter. Desperation does nothing but irritate me, unless it's truly warranted. 

I understand that some people think they need to be in control, but let me just tell you, they're wasting their time. It's not real control. It only causes stress to them and the people around them. 

If you're religious, I'll leave you with this. 

If you're not, well, sorry. Maybe next time?

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Nicole said..., you know me...a slight control freak...not about everything (I like to think of it as compartmental control). But, this week I've almost lost it a few times - lost control? It all hinged around a doctor's appointment that was not ridden with terrible news, but still news that was hard to hear. I don't know of anyone who wants to be told of their weaknesses, in what areas they are faulty (especially when they have absolutely NO CONTROL over those faults)! Maybe they are genetic or environmental, but whatever the case some health issues are out of our control. Whenjcand home that night, kind of bummed, and a little self loathing, I realized that really, it's just an issue of control. The control I don't have.

The real sad part about this is the ripple effect that loss of control in some areas of our life has on others. See, I had my own contro issues and it's a real possibility that I focused my 'control freak' energies on other things that made other people wish I would just get a grip!!! Thanks, Sally! I love our little talks (:

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