My first NY observation is that most of the couples I've seen showcase male dominated relationships. That's just not so common back home, which I think is hilarious. When you consider the much higher levels of education and intelligence the north has...kidding. But really, when you consider the more liberal attitude thought to prevail in the north, you just wouldn't expect the men to think they need to be waited on hand and foot by a woman like the 50's.
Maybe it's just my family, but there are more women wearing the pants, or at least sharing the pants than there are men.
I'm totally ok with sharing the pants, that's what we do most of the time. Well, when we can get them off the kid...But I like his input on major decisions and he does mine as well. It's important to know expectations and rules in relationships, not meaning "I expect you to know the rules in this house are have my dinner ready when I walk in, or have those dishes done before you sit down."
I mean, having a clear cut set of expectations for each other, and not setting each other up for failure. And wouldn't you know, I'm ok with honoring and obeying so much better when I helped create the rules.
Interesting observation for me, because when I picture the over bearing, controlling husband he's a big southern man, red faced from work who's bossing his woman around. Not a professor from NY or Boston.
3 comments:
my parents share the pants in the family, but i am completely okay with burdening my husband with the pants. we discuss all major decisions, and he asks my opinion on everything, i don't like a man who doesn't have a strong sense of self and responsibility... my man needs to have big shoulders, a big heart, and a big sense of responsibility. i don't mind being waited on. :)
I agree with Nobody. I'm old fashioned in thinking that a man should wear the pants in the family and am completely okay with that in my marriage. NOW if he was a disrespectful, controlling jerk about it I'd be pissed and it wouldn't fly with me. But thankfully Bryan has the biggest heart of anyone(man or woman) that I know and doesn't have a mean bone is his body to be controlling or overbearing.
New Reader - Stumbled across your blog from mutual friends, hey Rikki!!
And with me moving from Oregon where most of the women around here control everything, to Louisiana where the women wait on men hand and foot, I've had a TOTALLY a stereotypical experience.
However I think there are definitely a little of both kinds of men all over. My husband is a southern man who vacuums and loves to cook french toast, he changes dirty diapers, and he feeds and plays with my son while my cooking house keeping dad never played any games with us unless they were video games.
But I agree, when I think about the over bearing controlling man, I think southern hick just like my father in law lol.
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