Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Familial society?

How does your familial society work? Mine is most definitely matriarchal.

This is the reason I side with most women in any fight. It's the reason I side with Kate over Jon.

My mom "wears the pants". My sister does, my grandma did. I do. For the most part.

It's interesting to me how some families depend only on the fathers decisions.

I recently read a blog the other day about how we, as women are destined to be the helper spouse. We are to help and support the visions of our husbands.

This makes me worry, is my lifestyle sinful? Is the fact that my husband follows my lead, helps and supports my vision bad in God's eyes?

As a stay at home mom, I had no issue keeping our home, greeting my husband at the door with love, cooking and cleaning for him. Raising our son.

But working, those things are not my only priority. We make equal money, and I'm home less than him. Why should those things be my responsibility?

A professor told me last week that she and her sister were expected to work in the fields with their little brother, then come home and cook lunch while the men napped and rested. They were also responsible for refilling their grandpa tea glass if it got empty. He let them know it was empty by clinking the ice.

With my upbringing, that's absurd.

How was yours?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Nobody said...

yikes! the "refilling the tea glass" actually makes me angry... i don't have a strong feminist side, but if anything would make it come out, it's treatment like that!

as for us, we split the decisions according to who's best at getting them done. my husband is at work during the day, so i make sure to do the household chores that need to be done during the day. before we make any decisions we discuss them first- we try to have an equal household in the decision making process. we don't really have a dominant member of the household... i was raised with a mother AND father, who both worked and shared all the household duties, and J's upbringing was so screwed up, he's open to any arrangement as long as it's stable. ;)

Rikki said...

Well growing up my mom was a single mom so obviously she made all the decisions so we were a matriarchal family. But she was brought in the traditional patriarchal family.

For Bryan and I though I think we are more modern. We make decisions together and split household responsibility. I do understand about the "helpmate" though we were counseled on that in our pre-martial counseling(and NO your lifestyle is not sinful in my opinion). Our pastor explains the "helpmate" as more of a spiritual thing, as opposed to what you are thinking. In other words Bryan(or any man) is supposed to be the spiritual/religious leader to his family, and the wife is supposed to be a "servant follower" (not servant to her husband, servant to God who is following her husbands lead)

Does that make sense!?

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