So frustrated

Ok, so it's mid August, and I have no job. I have spent months scrambling trying to get my certification finished before August, got it done last week of July and have no job to show for it.

I'm crestfallen. We don't "need" the money, but honestly it's gonna be a long hard winter otherwise.

When I say we don't need, I mean it in the way like: we don't need internet and unlimited long distance, so that's $80 we could be saving and we don't need 200 channels, so that's another $60. We don't need a motorcycle that I have been trying to sell for months, so there's $200.

Chance is so stressed and hasn't been in a good mood in days. He just mopes around the house whining about how we don't have money to go and do things, but he just bought a $200 stereo system with some extra money he made on a side job. Did we go out on a date? No, he bought a stereo. Whatever. I could hear the tv fine before. It's nice, I won't say it isn't, but it's so far from unneccessary, it's almost ubsurd.

It's bittersweet for me. Do I want a job that causes me to be away from my baby, hell no. Do I want to live paycheck to paycheck and never see an improvement in our savings accounts? Hell NO.

I'm so frustrated though because stressing about it isn't going to get him anywhere. We've been arguing and ignoring each other so much lately and I hate it.

My HS biology teacher had the balls to stand up in front of our entire class and say he believes stress is something that has been made up by psychiatrists. That stress is just a failure to cope with situations.

His example, a big test and you didn't study. What do you do the night before? Study as hard as you can and do as well as you can? Or get all worked up and stressed about it? Either you deal with the situation or you don't. Failure to deal is just stress.

I thought he was insane. I thought he was trying to piss people off. I know think he was on to something. I think there are true situations that people get worked up, but never is it needed. Either you deal or you don't.

I'm sick of being the one who has to deal.