Friday, May 29, 2009

Death...preferrably without the taxes.

Chance's grandma died on Monday.

This lady was a constant figure in his life. His dad owned his own business and was gone a lot, so he and his siblings spent a lot of time with his grandparents.

I kept waiting for some, any kind of emotion, but he insists that he is totally at peace with her passing. I don't think I have seen him cry over this, he did when his grandpa (this grandma's husband) but only for a few minutes and then he was fine.

Well, his mom is addict. While she might not currently be addicted to anything, she just has a weak personality. She has been moaning and wailing about losing her mother. I get that, honestly I do. But she and her sister aren't on the same page about things, and I just don't get it.

The other thing they did drives me nuts, but I sucked it up. His grandma made it clear she DID not want an open casket service. She didn't want people looking at her. Chance and I are getting cremated for this reason. The person you know and love are not there, that is the shell, the soul, the person they are gone. Well his family asks the entire service to exit the front doors for a "private moment." Chance is completely unaware of this, was not told of this. So after everyone leaves, they begin opening the casket, we immediately got up. Chance was pissed at his mom for not telling him. I think it's morbid.

She was upset at her sister for getting the flowers from the funeral home. Well, they were from her friends, and they are just flowers. I don't get it.

I have never been a fan of traditional funerals, I think that there is a way to deal with grief without playing sad music and seeing an empty body. I don't know if it's my faith and that I have never lost anyone close to me who wasn't going to heaven, or if I'm just weird, but I have no need in seeing a dead body.


Nobody said...

i am sorry for his loss... and i totally agree with you. when my grandmother died when i was 14, my dad tried to get me to go up to the open coffin and kneel and pray. i absolutely refused. there's no way i'm going to pray to that empty shell- the person i loved is no longer in there, and when i pray for them, it won't be to that cold, lifeless thing. i've instructed my husband (and pretty much anybody else who will listen, who brings it up) that i do NOT want a funeral, and i definitely want to be cremated asap after passing away. death is never easy, but it is definitely easier when the person has lived a long, full life. i hope this time stays relatively drama free for you all. (((hugs)))

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