Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Something's Gotta Give

Over extended. The perfect title for my life right now. I need to learn to better manage everything. I leave my house at 6:30 every weekday, arrive home around 5 depending on how early I leave work and how heavy traffic is. (Traffic usually equals ridiculously slow drivers who enfuriate me. We're not talking gridlock here.)

I get home and think, "Dinner? Hmm, I'm supposed to feed these people?" And then it's either fast food or something thrown together like spaghetti and broccoli and cheese. I sometimes feel like I'm on chopped. I open my cabinets and just wonder what I can make in 30 minutes with the random assortment available. 

Baths? Sometimes. I try to sneak in a shower after the heathens go to sleep, but sometimes that's after me. I pile us all in my bed, we (sometimes, not often enough) read a story and then I crash. 

Sometimes I try to tidy my ridiculously messy house, but not daily. I don't have the motivation or stamina. It's exhausting just thinking about it. There is clothes vomit in every corner of my house. I just keep buying laundry baskets to hold everything. I feel like the house is closing in around me at times. 

I know I should do better, but I just can't motivate myself. I'm not disciplined enough. That's not a cop-out, just stating facts. 

I wish I could work 3 or 4 days a week, and still send Baby to daycare every day so that I would have time to really get caught up. Though, it's not like it matters, I've organized the toy bins every other day since break and he just keeps dumping them. 

So there. My house and parenting skills are a mess and seriously lacking. Being out of my house 10.5 hours a day, then coming home to parent them alone half the time is kicking my butt. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, this is our life. But something's gotta give. 

And I need to do better. 


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