Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Q&A Session: How many kids?

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have 7 children? Can you even imagine it? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have only one and be finished?

In my desire to learn about the different perspectives of having children, I asked two of my facebook friends to share about their situations. The first person I talked to, Michele, has a daughter the same age as my son. This woman has gone through so much in her life as a mommy and I truly value her input. I was so glad she agreed to answer some questions and I just loved her answers! Hope you enjoy them, and get something from her answers as well.

1. How many children do you have?
We have 8 children, 7 living.

2. How many children did you think you would have, before you had any of them?
Haahaa...honestly, I never wanted any kids before I got pregnant with our first. Funny little story...we're catholic so we had to talk to the priest before we got married...you know, to make sure we were compatable...haha...well, one of the questions that he was going to ask was if we both wanted kids. The priest just so happen to have to step out of his office for a moment after he asked the question...and I told Tony that I couldn't lie to a priest! He was insistent that I tell the priest that I wanted kids or else he wouldn't marry us. So, being scared about this...I told the priest I wanted lots of kids...and now look at us.

3. How many siblings do you have? Did that affect your decision in the number of children you have?..
Ahhh...Tony and I both have 6 siblings...yep...7 kids on both sides. Its funny because we always say that it was meant to be. In Tony's family, there is 6 boys and one girl. In my family, there is six girls and one boy...AND...we are both identical twins!

4. What was the biggest adjustment from child to child? (1-2, 2-3, etc)
It was very hard for me to go from none to 1 child...mainly because he was a preemie with colic...bad colic. My second child was very laid back, she was very easy. After that...it was like old school...until Kenny and Nick (my micro preemies born at 23 weeks gestation) were born. All our energy and focus had to go to the NICU and then when Kenny came home. Balancing hospital stays, medications, medical equipment, sicknesses, seizures with 5 other kids was very hard...then to find out I was pregnant with Gina (the youngest) when I brought Kenny home from the hospital was a HUGE shock...but very welcomed. I questioned why I couldn't have my son Nick here but ended up pregnant with another child. Now I know why...Gina has helped Kenny learn to do everything. She is his little mommy, his buddy. Now...the older kids really step up and help out with the younger ones...It all just kind of fell into place.

5. What is the biggest challenge to having the number of children you do?
There are a few...
Keeping up with the laundry! haha.. no really!
Being crowded in a little 1100 sq. ft., 3 bdrm home...but even that...we make it work and then everyone asks us about our bills, but really, we shop thrift stores, get hand me downs from people, and use coupons. We don't have credit cards and send 5 kids to a private school...we just had to reset our priorities of life.

6. What do you think would be different if you only had one child?
Oh wow...we'd definitely have a LOT more money to be able to do things and have things like other people...but that would be boring. :)

7. What has been the most important lesson as a mommy?
That each kid has their own personality and way of doing things. That yelling does NOT work and that parenting takes a whole lot of energy and courage.

8. Any regrets or things you would change?
No regrets at all...but changing something...I wish I could have changed the fact that I delivered my twins too early only to bury one and have one with many different needs...but even that...it has bonded Tony and I...strengthened our marriage. We cry together, work together in every way, and talk about everything. We have learned a whole new life...so have our kids...to appreciate the little things in life. That materialistic things don't mean anything.

9. Are you absolutely finished having children?
Since Gina, we have had 3 miscarriages. To say we are done...I am leaving it open. I am getting up there in age, so whatever will be, will be.

10. Any tips for new parents?..
Oh yes...make time for each other. Tony and I went through our rough times but we worked together, understood that we were both exhausted from lack of sleep and change in lifestyle (having a child is very stressful) and we just held on for the long haul...it does get easier. You have to make time for each other...always hold hands. Oh...and make sure you have a package of wipes in the car at all times!

Isn't that just really inspirational. I myself cannot imagine having seven living children! Eek. My energetic boy is enough to make even question two on most days, but knowing that it can be done really puts a lot of other things in perspective doesn't it?

Next up is a friend from school. Nicole has been a great source of support for me in school, and knowing her family choices have also helped me...but I'll share more after!

1. How many children do you have?
One, my nine year old son Kade.

2. How many children did you think you would have, before you had any of them?
Three or four.

3. How many siblings do you have? Did that affect your decision in the number of children you have?
Two. Not really.

4. What do you think would be the biggest challenge of going from one to two or more at this point?
I'm too old and set in my ways to have an infant and a 9 year old. Also, health concerns. (For the record, Nicole is NOT old.)

5. What is the biggest challenge to having the number of children you do?
I worry about my son being alone now and in the future when tough times (like death of a parent) come along.

6. What do you think would be different if you had more than one child?
My one would get less attention (which could be good or bad). My husband would get less attention. At this point, it really would not work with our circumstances of me working and being in school. Our whole schedule would need revamping.

7. What has been the most important lesson as a mommy?
Most important lesson is to listen. Having an only child is tricky, and fun! I have learned great lessons from Kade when I take the time to listen.

8. Any regrets or things you would change?
There are plenty of regrets. I would have been less Type A about a lot of things (like potty training)...but, more than regrets I am glad that I am at a place in my life that I am able to see my son as a real gift...a blessing that is bigger than I will ever be. Sometimes I regret silly stuff like not saving certain things (:

9. Are you absolutely finished having children?
Yes. One is enough.

10. Any tips for new parents?
Whether you are a young or old parent, a new or experienced, remember that every kid is different and we need to bend with all the crazy stuff that comes along with parenting. There is nothing better than being a mom (or dad). And nothing should be taken more seriously (while being light hearted enough to have fun with your kid). See, parenting is full of contradictions, but as long as you love unconditionally, everything else should work itself out.

I love Nicole's answers too!

I mostly like to model myself after Nicole, because she has an only child, which is where I wonder if Archer will end up. We constantly try to justify our sons being only children, and Nicole told me that anytime she talks to someone who is an only child or a parent of an adult only child, she always asks questions to make sure they are doing okay.

I guess the point of the blog for me was seeing that it can be done either way. I loved hearing both sides of this, and feel free to add your own perspective in the comments or do your own Q&A session on your own blog!!


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2 comments:

NotaSupermom said...

Great interview. Very nice.

Thanks for entering my blog giveaway--good luck to you.

Sally @ A Blessed Existence said...

Thanks so much!!

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