Friday, February 26, 2010

Again with the R stuff

My friend, not-just-a-mommy posted a poll a few days ago on religion. Given that I don't have a computer, I can't respond to awesome things like polls and facebook groups with my iphone. So, here I am 4 days later getting to read up on what I missed.

In her poll on religion, I said Christian, non-organized. I grew up in a Southern Baptist Church, and attended one until very recently.

I love the feelings and emotions that you get from church and just really worshipping God with words and songs, WITH others. But, the church I went to, and have gone to for years, AND considered family, just got too small. They felt they had the power to do and say things to other parishoners that I didn't agree with. They were very judgemental, and I just didn't want to be a part of that.

The sermons were recycled and at you. I very seldomly felt uplifted and light of spirit after leaving. I felt, almost sinful, as though I had been to confession. Even though, I hadn't confessed anything, I felt like perhaps the pastor would call up the fact that I hadn't joined as a member, or the fact that I had lived with Chance before we were married, or some other awful thing I'd done.

I know I sin. I know it's wrong. Yet, I don't need a church, or a group of other sinners, committing sins at this very moment, to tell me I am/do sinful things.

I didn't mean to go here, but I guess I will.

I'm really a prudish person, so it might surprise you that I am OK with homosexuality. That's a no-no in Southern Baptist culture. It could be that my cousin, who might as well be my sister, is a lesbian. She's not ashamed of that fact, and my family, God-bless them, they try to be open minded. But, while I know it's probably not what God wants from people, it's no different a sin than my preacher's mother going to the casino every weekend. It's just not, in my world. I could be wrong, I'm no expert, but in my world it isn't.

In my scientific mind, (I know, I know. Gays, religion, and science in one post)


Devin said...

I think this is a very good post, and I don't think you should be embarrassed, ashamed, anything about the way you feel when it comes to religion. If you don't question religion how can you learn what you really believe and what you can really accept? If you blindly follow what other people tell you without ever questioning it you can never know if you really feel that way because it makes the most sense to you or if you only feel that way because other people feel that way.

Sally said...

I agree. I think when I was younger I was so eager to please those around me, my actual family and my church family. And I'm not sure that I was as into Christianity as much as I thought. Now I can truly appreciate and am eager to learn and please God, not just my Grandmother.

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