Random Thoughts

I've received these via email multiple times, but I still laugh every time. Thought I would share.




1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.



2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.



3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.



4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.



5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?



6. Was learning cursive really necessary?



7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.



8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.



9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.



10. Bad decisions make good stories.



11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.



12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BluRay? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.



13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.



14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.



15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?



16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.



17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.



18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.



19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.



20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option



21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.



22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.



23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.



24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.



25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?



26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!



27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.



28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?



29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.



30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.



31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.



32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Archer's Room

Archer has been completely freaked out about his room for months. He rarely ever slept in his crib because we didn't have central heat and air in there, and it was either too hot or too cold. Now that we have new windows to keep the air in and central heat and air to keep it moving he's able to sleep in there.

Except, he wouldn't. He would cry and just about panic everytime we put him in there. He even cried if we went in with him. So, I had the brillant thought to put the directv box we weren't using in there, with the OLD tv that was mine that we weren't using (and that we had stored in there months ago) and turn it on. Guess what? He loves it.

Of course, I have to go in and turn the TV every now and then and make him socialize with us because he's just addicted and little kids shouldn't watch so much TV, but really, it makes him stay in there.

Before

After

Before

After

Do you have a type?

I was just reading a blog in which the author is discussing interracial relationships, and in the process says that her type is men with brown skin and brown eyes. She was of Middle Eastern descent.

My girlfriends and I were talking about this just the other night when we went out and watched Eclipse. They both think that men with cute round faces (think babyfaced), blond hair, and blue eyes are attractive. That's their type.

And man, is it not mine at all.

I'll be honest, I've only ever kissed three boys in my whole life. So, when I say dated, I mean these three boys. The first one was a BAD boy. And I mean bad. Like, we were in the 8th grade and he did drugs, and I knew it. And yet I still followed him around and held his hand like a lovesick puppy. This boy, had blonde hair, but very strong features. His nose was wide, his lips were full, and his jaw was prominent. He was also very muscular.

The second boy I kissed, with tongue. He was dark complected, brown hair, brown eyes. Then I thought he was super handsome, but after we dated (and he dumped me) I didn't see it as much anymore. He was a good guy. Played every sport we offered, baseball and basketball. I went to all the games he had while we dated. We rode the same bus, so it was convenient, and then very, very awkward. But he made good grades, had good parents (well, his dad was a roadie who toured with Marilyn Manson, but he was cool), and wasn't in trouble. He also had very manish features, and was muscular. Since I'm pretty sure bad boy is part of my "type," and this guy doesn't really fit that, I think that his overly cocky attitude filled in for his badness.

And the third, and final boy. Chance. He was always cute. When we were kids, I was totally in love with him. My barbie always married a Ken who would be Chance. He was also a bad guy. Not quite as bad as the first guy, but only because he reformed. Chance and first guy actually got into a fight when we were freshman in high school. He called Chance a faggot in the hallway, and apparently that is an invitation to fight that you just can't pass up. Chance won, just in case you're wondering. He was always scrapping with someone when we were young. Other than his bad boy attitude. He also has dark skin, dark eyes, and dark hair. He has a very prominent nose, and high cheek bones. Oh, and the muscles. He has those too. He's worked out and lifted weights since middle school. Now he's in overdrive with it. His body fat percentage is 9.9. He's lost 60 lbs since January; and put on 5 lbs of muscle this week.

On top of his physicality, he's so disciplined it's sickening. He will stick with something forever if he really wants to. He's so giving and yet so selfish at the same time. He does nice things for people because it's the right thing to do. He does nice things for me daily just because he loves me; but most of the time he makes me trade for things, like neck and back rubs. He's so unsure of himself and insecure about how he looks, but when he's working out like he is now, he checks himself in the mirror constantly to see if his body has changed at all; if his muscles got bigger. And if they did, I have to hear about it. Or see it. Which isn't so bad.

So that's my type. Bad boy with rugged features, and muscles, lots of them. :)

What's yours?

About Me...

I wrote work in progress on my About Me page when I first figured out that you could add pages with blogger. I was figuring things out, stumbled across it and didn't have time to add any text.

Now that I'm back to editing, I think it's oh so fitting. I'm in a constant motion, and I hope it's progress.

Changes and the Comments Issue

Blogger now lets you add pages to your blog. So, in case you didn't notice, I now have an about me page and a photography page. I'm working on a few other pages, so check back soon!

Comments are now working! For some reason, something that I don't know how to fix is disabled, and that keeps me from having the embedded comments. So, now it is a pop up. If that is an issue, please let me know, and I can change it to something else.

If at any time you have an issue, or would just like to contact me for fun, you can do so at sally(dot)tilley(at)gmail(dot)com

Thanks.

Party Planning

Archer's party is still 6 weeks away, but I'm just getting some ideas as I'm off work now and won't be forever.

Here are my ideas for decor and plates:








I'm going to do Red Velvet Cake, but color them a little darker than this.



And this is what he's wearing:



We're inviting his 5 little friends from daycare, some of my close friends with kiddos close to the same age, Chance's family and their kids, and my family and their kids. It's not really a kids party, but just a celebration of his day.

Plates:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Red-Paper-Basic-Kit-N-Kaboodle/14100962
http://www.walmart.com/ip/White-Paper-Basic-Kit-N-Kaboodle/14100964
http://www.walmart.com/ip/First-and-Ten-Dinnerware-Set-for-8/13030926

Football Party:
http://www.partycity.com/product/the+big+game+party+supplies.do?sortby=ourPicks

Cupcakes:
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Red-Velvet-Cupcakes-2/Detail.aspx

Crossed another off the list

So you might have noticed, I crossed something off my list. If you didn't notice, it's number 1. Read more.

I'm not exactly sure what more means, and what I'm comparing to, but I was in a rut for a while where I just wasn't mentally stimulated. lol Well, so far this year, I have read a lot of books. Things I wouldn't normally read, ie lots of YA books since I work at a middle school and that's all the library has. I've also started a new series, The Milennium series. It's crime fiction. I've never really been a major crime fan, but it's ok. I love this series. The first book is The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It's gritty, and dirty, and European. It's kind of like Pan's Labrinth. Things happen that you just do not expect.

I also read a Brit dramedy called The Reading Group. I love all things British entertainment. Bridget Jones' Diary was one of my all time favorites, and I grabbed this because it looked good, and it was. Very soap opera-ish, but a good read none the less. I much prefer my drama be fiction than real life.

On top of these, I'm current, via Audiobooks via Audible.com via my iPod on the Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Mysteries. Also known as the books that fuel the True Blood series on HBO. We have the channel just to watch the show, and I'm not quite convinced that I like where the show is going...but I guess I'll keep watching to see. But that's TV not books.

I've done a lot of reading this summer. Every break from homework, wifing, and parenting I've had has been filled with a book, thus the neglect of this poor little blog. But a friend posted an article about stay at home moms, and while I'm technically not one, I am this summer, and as the article says, Mom's who stay at home like to fill their 15 minutes of free time with what pleases them, and right now, that's a book and a bath. (Now that I have hot water again, that is.)

So, I crossed something off my list, are you crossing anything off of yours?

Be Safe Little Boy

So, I read this book while pregnant with Archer. It's called, Be Safe Little Boy. It made me cry in the middle of the Christian book store where I was shopping. I happened across it at Amazon last week and ordered it because it's only $5 and apparently I'm a glutton for tears.

I get it today and crack it open, and of course cry big fat tears that almost make my contact lenses fall out. She starts out by saying that the mother holds her new little boy, and as the nurses ask for him to clean him up she realizes her life with him will always be about letting go. And just so you don't think I'm a big baby, I'll share a few lines.

"The boy grew older and for his sixth birthday he got a shiny bike. His mother kissed him on the top of his helmet, stood back, and slowly, very slowly he climed onto the seat. From the place where she watched him start to ride, that mother whistled a quiet whistle. And in her heart, the words went something like this: Be safe little boy. Petal hard little boy, look how much you've grown. Be safe little boy, where you ride little boy. You're not yet on your own. (Karen Kingsbury)

She goes on through each stage of life, football, driving, dating, marriage. And each one talks about how the boy grows a little farther away. The dating one is the hardest for me:

"The years went by like crazy and the boy fell in love. Love meant that his mother would have to share her little boy's heart with someone else."

Geez. Break my heart why don't you. I've told Chance Archer was sleeping with us until he decided he was too old, but now I'm thinking I'll never let him move out. : )

What's up?

In case you were wondering, lately I've been a little busy. A friend told me the other day that they just didn't have time to read.

This friend is an undergraduate student with no kid or husband. So while her days are packed full of nothing. I've been entertaining Archer (and Chance), I've been doing weekly homework assignments for 3 graduate classes, and trying to get some summer reading done. I've also made a few shopping trips, as ON's jeans were on sale, and last night I met my bff and another friend for dinner and a movie.

So, please know I'm reading all the blogs on my list, but mostly on my phone where it's hard to comment.

Summer is winding down, and I love being home, I'm starting to look forward to work. Ahhh..

Diary of Ellen Rimbauer

A few weeks ago I went to lunch with an old friend from BBW in my favorite town.

There was no parking right out front so I had to park about a block down and walk back. As I walked past the book store (The Book Store on the Corner), I saw Her Fearful Symmetry. I had seen it in the sidebar on facebook, and considered downloading the audiobook, but it was too expensive. I went in and grabbed it (for only $3) and I also found the Diary of Ellen Rimbauer.

Since it was smaller, I read it first. Before this book, I had no previous ideas or opinions of this book. As I was reading it, I was thinking it was the account of an actual person and these were the things she thought were happening in her world.

I get 3/4 of the way through, and started googling her and her husband, to no avail. The search results were only coming up the book itself. That was when I stumbled across a forum from 2003 when the book was published. Apparently it is a fiction book about a fiction person. If you have eyes, you could see on the back near the barcode where it says fiction.

Duh...

Overall, it was an OK story, but I completely lost interest when I found out it wasn't real.

Ahh, quiet! : )

Chance and Archer left earlier to go first to my parents to help my dad, and then to his parents. We got a ton of rain yesterday so they have plans to go "icle" (4 wheeler) riding in the mud today. A very boy activity.

A comment yesterday asked about Chance being laid off. Well, it's just the construction field. The job they were on is finished, so now it's just a waiting game until something else starts up. They generally have a gap like this once a year, but we were lucky last year and didn't have one but for a week or so.

It's not bad, they just have to file for unemployment for a month or so, and then something will come up. It was really bad when I wasn't working but now we have some things paid down, the central heat and air we installed dropped our electric bill $200, and now neither of us is paying gas and eating out for lunch costs. Now we just have to tighten up our spending a little.

We're taking our first whole family vaca in July so I wish this little gap in work would have waited until then so that they wouldn't be missing work; but I don't hope it lasts that long. Money is part of that, but I just can't stand to spend that much all day time with him.

PS, I use the term they to refer to Chance and my Dad. They work together; so anytime they are out of work, it affects our family as a whole. But they have already filed for unemployment and have been paid this week, so we didn't miss a pay check. It's about $240 less a week than usual, but it's enough to keep us afloat until something comes up!

Rain today

Chance and Archer were supposed to go away today and give me some space. Air to breath. Quiet.

But, since it has done nothing but rain today, that didn't happen. He doesn't like going to his parents when it's rainy because then all the kids are crammed in one house and can't go out. (His niece and nephew plus 10 year old sister are there almost all the time.)

For a little while, we watched flood coverage on the news. It was scary, and I'm glad my family and friends are all safe. Then Chance decided we should watch The Edge of Darkness. No spoilers, but it's one of those movies with lots of loud action, and then quiet speaking. The kind where you have to crank the sound up just to hear, and are then blown out two seconds later.

On top of all of that, Archer hasn't had a nap yet, because he won't take naps when Chance is home. So, the noise level is overwhelming inside my house, and no one can go outside because of the rain. I would be LOVING this rain if I were home alone, or really if Chance were at work.

He doesn't do anything to get on my nerves, I just have a routine, and he's ruining it.

On top of the stress of him being home, I'm still not completely over the stress of having to photograph my cousins wedding. I spent the evening Friday and ALL day Saturday. It really wore me down, and I haven't had two hours of alone time to recoup.

At this point, I'm ready to hire a babysitter for Chance and Archer.

Peace and Quiet.

Is that just too much to ask for?

Since Chance isn't working right now, he's just here, wherever I am, wanting to talk or pat me, or play with my hair. I crave alone time, and he craves company. We are quite literally polar opposites in all ways, this isn't new information, but I just need some alone time.

Since he's been home, I can't get Archer to do anything. The first day he was off, Archer wouldn't lay down so I just left them alone together and went to my room, shut the door and tried to read. Of course, that didn't work at all, since they just followed me. : )

They aren't doing anything wrong, don't take this post that way. They're just boys, and they're noisy and in your face. Archer gets all hyped up playing with Chance and then he comes over and wants to play rough with me.

It's driving me nuts.

I need to spend time alone, by myself.

Alone.

Secret...

Have you ever read Mark Twain? There is a book that he wrote (or maybe it's just a quote by him, it was high school, I don't remember) where he talks about how much in love with the river he was before he knew it so well that it no longer held mystery.

The deeper I delve into my counseling courses and the psyche, the less intrigue it holds. Another blogger posted a blog a few months ago (and I would post the link, but I'm not sure if she would be OK with that) about her struggle with generalized anxiety disorder. The symptoms she described were so very familiar to me.

That's because my husband had and continues to display symptoms behaviors that are so much like those mentioned in said blog.

He gets overly worried and upset about things that don't even register on my radar. It's really hard for me to understand why he's so worked up about a bill I didn't pay. He will call me three or four times in one day to see if I called it in, or if I could just go and pay it in person. He pesters and bugs me because it's eating him alive. It's not a control issue because he doesn't want to do it himself, he just wants to make sure that I have taken care of it.

If we decide we want to be seated at a restaurant by 7, and we get lost on the way, he gets so angry/frustrated that he can't talk to me because it will just cause us to fight. Even though we aren't actually late. He just needs to be there when he thinks he needs to be there.

It's been really hard for me lately because I'm noticing it so much more; and I know what it is. He has not been to a doctor, and it might not be generalized anxiety disorder, but he is exhibiting anxious behaviors. I want to help, I want to help him not feel so overwhelmed, but all I do is piss him off even more.

I read the previously mentioned blog and talked to him about some of the things she mentioned in a private message about her feelings, and he said all of them were spot on, in some circumstances. Now that I've talked to him about it, he's constantly feeling insecure that I think he's crazy.

We went to see Shrek 4 2 weeks ago and he got really upset at lunch because Archer was being wild (he hadn't had a nap and it was 130), his little sister went with us and she was being picky and wouldn't eat her lunch, so then she was whiny because she was hungry and it all just compiled. He was grouching at everyone and just being negative about the day. I lost my temper and told him he just needed to get over his bad mood, he was ruining the day for everyone. I DID NOT mention anxiety or anything, because honestly he's has the tendency to be negative about everything anyway.

On the way home, he said "This is your one out." It caught me off guard and I asked what he meant. He said, "This is just the way I am, so if you want out, I'll understand."

It made me cry because he actually doubts that I can deal with everything he has to give, good or bad. It hurt my feelings that he had any doubts that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. A few days later I asked him point blank if he did actually doubt that I wanted to be with him forever, and he said that he did. It was like a punch in the stomach. We have been together for 9 years, and never once have I felt anything other than pure devotion from him. I don't have a single doubt about his feelings, about his intentions, about him; but he has them about me.

That really makes me want to change the way I think, the way I treat and talk to my husband on a daily basis. I'm not sure if it's anything that I can fix, or if it's just insecurity. I hope the latter.

Marriage is hard. Hopefully when it's other people's marriage (you know, the ones I'm counseling) it won't be so tough.

It's Been a While...

But here I am!!

I am off work until August. : )

I have a new computer to blog on! Which is fantastic because now I don't have to use my phone, or the on screen keyboard to return with.

I have been busy for the past two weeks, just non-stop something. Which I hate because I want to enjoy my summer break.

The first week of grad school this semester involved six discussions and a paper. Who requires a paper the first week? Eh, it wasn't really that bad, but still.

I have been thinking about this same subject for weeks now, and plan to blog about it later this evening. When there is possibly quiet in my home...But for now, I have to go chow on the Hobo dinners my wonderful husband created on the grill!!

PS, he was also laid off from his job, which is the reason he is cooking dinner and not me. As I'm getting paid for my summer vaca, he is not. Which puts him a rung under me on the family dynamic totem pole! :)