Two weeks out

Chance works two weeks at a time away, something I've avoided posting directly here, just because, but it's relevant to this post, so I needed to say it.

He just left for two weeks, and my due date is 13 days away (September 10). He will be home the night before, but we're hoping he makes it and I don't go into labor on my own. I'm not looking forward to being induced (for atypical reasons) but his time at home will be limited otherwise, so I'm going to if necessary.

But the two weeks I want to talk about right now are the ones that just passed. He came home for his days off two weeks ago, and it occurred to me that we had two weeks left in our current way of life. We had two weeks left as parents of one. It's strange to put such quantitative measures on life, but we knew once he went back to work, it would be different the next time he came back.

Life is so strange when lived in two week increments. You spend a few days getting reaquainted with each others bad habits, you spend a few days resting, and then you cram 30 days worth of dr appointments, errands, dinners with friends, birthdays, holidays, etc into 12 if you're lucky.

Then when he goes back to work, I spend at least a day recouperating. Just sitting immobile on the couch watching tv and tanking up on water like a camel. (haha)

So now, in no more than two weeks we will be parents of two. We will have a newborn. I think it's safe to say I'm getting anxious.

4th Birthday and Questions

Today was Archer's 4th Birthday!! He kept saying, I'm still the birthday boy. He didn't quite understand that his party was Friday and his birthday was today, but it was cute that he was hanging on to his birthday all weekend. I like having a birthday week too, so can't say that I blame him. :) 

His teacher sets it up so that their birthday is their assigned snack day, so we took cupcakes and juice. I didn't get one of him looking, but here he is at school! 

We had his party on Friday, but today we had a little celebration at home, just us. When he came in from school he was surprised with his presents. 

Then we had lasagna for dinner, not his request but something he always eats well. And since his candle blowing at his party didn't really work out (too windy), we did it again at home and sang happy birthday. He loves being sang happy birthday to. :)

When it was bed time Mommy read him 4 of his new books, snuggled, and sent him to snuggle with Daddy since he leaves tomorrow for work. But just before bed, I asked these birthday questions. I found these after his 3rd birthday but I asked them this winter so that we would have something to compare to this birthday. It is so neat to see the difference just a few months made in his answers. 

1. What is your favorite color? Red, blue
2. What is your favorite toy? The dragon and the knights
3. What is your favorite fruit? Apples
4. What is your favorite tv show? Pocoyo
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Raviolis
6. What is your favorite outfit? Batman
7. What is your favorite game? Hide n Go Seek
8. What is your favorite snack? Grapes
9. What is your favorite animal? My sheep (when asked for a "real animal" he said, A real sheep)
10. What is your favorite song? Imma Be
11. What is your favorite book? Batman
12. Who is your best friend? Rysen (Brysen)
13. What is your favorite cereal? The one with marshmallows in
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Slide, play in my sandbox too
15. What is your favorite drink? Tea
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Georgie
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Oatmeal
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Cake
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? Superman
21. Who is your favorite superhero? Batman

Happy Birthday to my big boy! Mommy loves you so much. :) 

Party Time!

Today was Archer's big 4th birthday party! He had so much fun and I'm relieved baby brother didn't interrupt our party plans.

This year we had a superhero theme. I didn't do nearly as much as last year, just a few balloons and primary colors everywhere.

The cupcakes were banana flavored with banana cream cheese icing (which melted with the addition of the food coloring) and funfetti with whipped icing. The toppers were little rings. It was super messy. lol

We only played one game this year, which was spray the bad guy. The kids were rounded up and sprayed cartoon villains with silly string. I found the idea on a blog and pinned it here. It was a little difficult to maneuver with a ton of kids, my advice would be to use water guns and laminated pictures and make it a race or something. But we had lots of littles, so I just let them share the silly string and spray at random.

The party was fun, stressful, and not something I ever plan to do 9 months pregnant again. I love going all out for birthdays and I just didn't have the energy this year. I wanted to do so much more game wise and decoration wise, but Archer was thrilled. My mom picked him up from school and he walked up to the party just a few minutes early saying, "It's Archer's party day!" Made my heart happy.

We're going to have another birthday bash at home on Monday with a few presents and his favorite dinner. It was a great day and this pregnant momma is worn out. More later. :)

Dad's Turn

I blogged the other day that my husband would soon be home and would get to share in the responsibilities of school drop offs and lunch making. He made me escort him a few times to make sure he knew what to do, but today he was solo. I slept in, I didn't even pretend to wake up or ask if they needed help. I was due.

I gave him all of my tips last night (start the oatmeal before waking him up, add a little milk to cool it down, get his robe so he won't be cold because if he's cold he'll try to get on the couch and cover up, make sure you put the sandwich at the bottom so it doesn't get smashed, etc) and he thought I was a little crazy, but hey it works.

I kissed him goodbye before he got dressed, so I had no idea what he was going to school in. :) You can definitely tell Daddy dressed him but I don't mind, because I didn't have to do it.

Recipe: Cavatini

In case you haven't noticed from all of my other recipe posts, I'm all about very versatile recipes. I like to be able to substitute or make changes depending on who I'm feeding. So I promise, this is very easy and it might seem scattered, but it's really easy to make it your way. For that reason, I'm going to word this recipe a little differently than usual.

Cavatini
The must haves:
-1 box pasta
-1 jar sauce
-1 1lb ground beef or pork sausage (or leave out the meat if you want vegetarian)
-1 large package shredded mozzerella
The extras:
-pepperoni
-italian sausage
-smoked sausage, sliced
-1 bell pepper
-1 small onion, diced
-1 squash or zucchini
-1 can sliced olives
-1 can sliced mushrooms

Boil pasta, but keep it al dente so that it can continue to cook once you bake it. Drain and add to pan.

While pasta is cooking, brown meat and onion, then drain.

Mix sauce, meat, and any veggies you choose. I also add a little sugar to my sauce to take the bitter out, a friend uses shredded carrots to add sweetness to her sauce as well as add veggies her family doesn't know about. Pour sauce mixture over the noodles, top with cheese.

Bake at 350 until cheese is melted and golden. I like mine a little brown.

This is called cavatini (like spaghetti) because of the type of noodle used, but it's really just a baked pasta casserole. You can use any kind of pasta you like, I prefer rotini or spiral but you could use a tube like pasta to hold more sauce. You can use all the meat to have a really hearty dish, or add more vegetables. I would avoid veggies that are too watery or cut down on the sauce. I like a lot of cheese, so add more if you want. Like I said, very versatile.

I'll post pics the next time I make this, we just had it the other day.


Shared at:
-Jam Hands

Whew

I am exhausted! It has been a whirlwind of a weekend.

Friday I drove Archer to my friend's house so he could spend the night. Chance was at the lake with his sister and brother in law, I chose to stay home and relax a little as the idea of riding a boat was most unappealing.

Saturday afternoon held a (very) small baby shower thrown by some of my favorite girls in the world and Saturday evening we took Archer to watch Paranorman. It was cute, but I would recommend an older age group for sure.

Today I had Sunday dinner with my family, which I do most weekends, and came home to do a few things around the house, including cooking dinner (which I screwed up). I feel like I'm just now sitting down to the computer for the first time all weekend.

The idea that tomorrow is Monday, which is just the beginning of another crazy week makes me want to hide in my bed under the quilt and refuse to come out. I'm still not used to life on a schedule again after summer break and it's kicking my butt.

This week I have a party at my moms, a doctor's appointment, shopping for the birthday party, and the big birthday bash on Friday. I'm going to be ready for a nap next Saturday, doubt I'll get one, but I'll be ready.

If you're wondering

If you'll remember I said my husband was on his way home. He got in yesterday and now we have to cram 4 weeks into 2 and that doesn't leave a lot of time for blogging or even facebook.

So, if you notice I'm not around much, I'm not avoiding the blog, I'm just busy.

Schedules and routines

As I said yesterday, Chance gets home from work today. His work schedule really sucks and I'm not looking forward to him leaving this time, especially with me being so pregnant and Archer being in school. It's really going to mess up his world.

I always look forward to him coming home, and usually have these grand plans of what we can do and the time we can spend together, but it usually ends up being chaotic as hell and we don't have time for anything. I'm sure that will be the case again this time. But I'm still looking forward to him coming home of course.

Although, this time, I might have a very selfish ulterior motive.

You see, my very sweet, loving husband really doesn't get what it's like to have to get up and take the kiddo to school (or daycare) as he's never done it. He left before school started. So I am really looking forward to sleeping in while daddy gets up, makes oatmeal, gets him dressed and packs his lunch. There's nothing difficult about it at all, it just takes a little fine tuning of schedule and planning ahead.

I literally have to drag Archer out of bed most mornings. He stirs as soon as the alarm goes off, but I let him snooze at least once. Then on the second alarm, I turn on the light and off the fan. I tell him I'm starting his oatmeal and I head to the kitchen groggily. I sleep in my contacts most days (don't tell my dr) so I'm fighting stuck together eyes while I pour oatmeal and water in a bowl and fumble for the microwave buttons.

In the minute it's cooking I run to the bathroom, change my clothes and brush my hair. Back to the kitchen for milk in the oatmeal to cool. Get the kid out of bed and into his inherited Superman robe because it's freezing in our house and sit him at the table to eat. While he's eating I make his daily pb&j, toss in a water and snack of some kind (pretzels, apple sauce, yogurt).

As soon as he's done we pull on clothes, which usually takes forever because he's still cold and doesn't want to get naked. Then it's time for brushing teeth and shoes, which I let him do alone to an extent but I always follow up with a few seconds of brushing for him.

It's really not a long or difficult process, but I'm definitely interested in seeing how Daddy does it wrong  and the chaos that might cause. All while I'm blissfully sleeping in. (one can dream right?)

Nursery To Do

My husband comes home tomorrow and I'm sure he's going to immediately ask what I've been doing for two weeks. The yard is a wreck, the house is a wreck, and the nursery is still exactly as he left it, with the exception of a rug on the floor. There is still so much to do, but I'm just not sure where to start and I can't seem to find the energy to do any of it. I decided today, maybe if I made a physical list I could actually accomplish something in the next two days.

1. Get excess stuff out of closet
2. Hang new closet bar
3. Put up closet organizer
4. Hang curtain
5. Hang decor
6. Move small dresser to baby's room
7. Put lamp up
8. Hang shelves
9.

However, my first bullet needs to be: Find a place to put all the crap in that closet. I just need more room.

And if we're being honest, we both know I spent time writing this blog to avoid actually doing the work. :)

School Update

Archer's third day of school was today.

He happily reported this afternoon that he played with the same friend as last Friday, he still doesn't know his name and can't describe what he looks like. I think it's so neat that he's completely unaware of physical differences (race, hair color, height/weight). I asked him today what he looks like (for the 2nd time, last time all he could think of was "striped shirt") and he said "He's same size as me. And he's brown like me." I'm not at all sure what that means, since he's tanner than most kids but still white, but I think it's neat that he doesn't know that he's "white" or "black" or any other society determined race.

We've gotten the schedule down pretty well also. In the morning he doesn't like for me to just drop him off at the door, he likes me to go in a spend a few minutes "talking" to him before he has to go in his classroom. I told him we would do that until the baby comes unless he got ready before that. In the afternoon I drive through and pick him up.

He goes "all day" which is from 8:05-2:45, though I can drop him off as early as 7:45. It definitely doesn't feel like a full day when you have errands to run, but I'm grateful he gets to go at all. I miss him all day and usually get to school early to pick up him, but I'll be glad for only have one to juggle once the baby gets here.

I was really worried about him learning the alphabet (or even be able to recognize his name) but he's already telling me anytime he sees an A (though he calls it a cross, because of the line in the middle) that it's "his letter." I think that's great progress after only 3 days.

Sunday morning tired

I'm sitting here on an early Sunday morning really wishing I could have a hot steaming cup of coffee. Caffeine makes me feel terrible so I avoid it. If I don't follow up a coke with a gatorade I feel dehydrated and tired.

It's cloudy out, it's cool in my house and I'm awake way too early. I stayed up late reading and Archer was restless all night long, waking hourly to whine or flop. It's going to be a long day.

Shoes

My sweet boy has never worn shoes all day. At home we take them off upon entering. At daycare, he took them off upon entering.

On his first day of school he looked around the room a little confused and asked where he was supposed to put his shoes.

Then when he got home he made sure to tell me he even napped in them. :)

It was so sweet and innocent. He really had no idea that people wore shoes all day.

Looking Good!

OH, and in case you hadn't noticed, I did a little making over today. The old layout was, well, old. :)

After School Update

I promised an update this afternoon, so here is what I have.

He had fun, but he didn't play with anyone. No one would play with him so he played Captain Hook alone. He also didn't touch his lunchbox or use his blanket for his nap. He said they didn't let him take his lunch or get his blanket. He also told me all he ate today was pancakes and a yogurt, so I have no idea if he got a plate at lunch and just didn't eat it or what. He did eat his entire lunch as soon as he walked in the door, so he was definitely hungry.

He said he was sad when I left, so I told him tomorrow we would go super early so I could talk to his teacher and then have time to say goodbye. And now he's currently taking a nap on his bedroom floor. :)

First day!!

Well, today was the day. My baby boy's very first day of school. Until now he has either been at home with me or in an at-home daycare. This is a major transition, for Archer and Mom.

Last night he wasn't tired and fought sleep until nearly 10. He of course slept with mom, because dad is at work. He didn't even consider sleeping in his own room. :)

Our alarm went off at a very early 7 am and he begged for "2 more minutes" so I relented and gave him until 7:10. When I told him it was time for oatmeal he hopped out of bed and ran to get his robe to keep warm while I made lunch.

After breakfast we got dressed, brushed teeth and went outside to take some pictures! 

He was very excited the entire way to school and seemed fine when I took him in. We put his back pack and lunch in his locker. George the bear went too, he was to stay in the locker until nap time (which should be right now). He didn't cry at all, though he seemed a little leery of staying alone. Mommy may have shed a few tears, but not a lot. We were ok! 

Pick up is at 2:45 and I can't wait to hear how his day was. 

Stressing

Just in case you hadn't noticed by my recent posts, I'm stressing a lot about what's going to happen when baby gets here. 

If it's a normal healthy delivery, I don't mind visitors at the hospital once we're settled in a private room. With Archer the waiting room was packed full from 10am until late evening when I was finally able to move to a single room. I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours and felt terrible. I was all drugged out and just watching people pass him around and it was so uncomfortable. However, hospitals are neutral ground and people don't feel compelled to stay around forever so it's really ok. 

My biggest concern is coming home and not being able to feed or pump comfortably in my own home because people will want to come and visit for hours, not just the baby but Chance too, since he's gone a lot. I know people will want to see the baby, but when he needs to be fed every 2 hours and I'm going to try pumping too, it's just not going to be conducive to visits involving much "chatting." 

Chance thinks I'm nuts since I've done all of this before, and maybe I am, but I can't seem to stop. It drives me insane when people complain about stressors they can't control, so I promise I'm done. I feel a lot better now that I've gotten it out. I've talked to Chance and a few other friends and I really do feel better. I'm making a plan and he's promised to be the bad guy if need be. I love him for it, he knows I'm a chicken. 

I would expect one more post on this matter, laying out the plan, but other than that, I'm done. Thanks for listening. 

When baby comes...

I'm going to tell you a secret. Well, it might not be a secret for some of you, but it's not anything I've ever said out loud before. 

When Archer was first born, other than the whirlwind of emotions from just having a newborn baby and being exhausted, I was exhausted from spending extra time in the hospital (NICU parents, my heart goes out to you indefinitely) and I wanted to get to my home so that I could learn what life was like with a new baby. When I got home there were well intentioned visitors at my house which was ok for the first hour or so, because it allowed me time to shower and eat. 

After that first day, the constant stream of visitors really wore me down. I really just wanted time alone with my baby to learn what in the world I was supposed to do. Why wasn't he eating, why didn't I have enough milk, when would I ever sleep again? It was so stressful and overwhelming. My baby wasn't getting any bigger and I was really just freaking out. 

The people who came to visit were most likely met with me running to my room, a messy house, and I was struggling to hold it all together and take care of myself and a new baby. I know I cooked a few times, but other than that, I couldn't tell you what Chance ate or if he did. 

I wasn't a very good hostess. I was really upset that people kept coming and wanting to hold this baby that I was supposed to be feeding every hour. I needed help with other things, but holding the baby wasn't one of them. That feeling, knowing it would be happening again, knowing I'm going to feel so territorial and stressed has been causing me anxiety from the moment I found out I was pregnant again. I try not to stress about stuff like that, but those emotions were so strong that I'm not ready to feel that way again. 

When I tried to talk to Chance about it, he said he wasn't sure why I was stressing, I've done it all before. Sure, but I did it all before without having to worry about getting up and getting a 4 year old ready for school or feeding him or ensuring that he has enough time and attention. I want to be successful at breast feeding and that means better habits at the beginning, which is going to be even harder with a preschooler. 

It's going to be harder this time because I may or may not have help, depending on Chance's work schedule. I might be doing it all on my own right away, and I'll need so much help. 

I'm saying all of this to say, I'm not against people coming over. I know they want to see the baby. But before I have guests coming over to hold and spend time with my baby, I need time to be a mother. I don't need people holding him, I need people cooking dinner so that I don't have to loading the dishwasher, folding clothes or tossing something in the washer, going to the store for groceries or whatever, taking Archer to play at the park or just giving him one on one time. I'm terrible at asking for help, and chances are, I won't. I'll sit and cry in my overemotional state. 

Breastfeeding is hard and I'm so anxious to do it in front of people, I need privacy. I've never really pumped before, but definitely plan to this time, so I imagine I'll just be living in my bedroom until I can get the hang of it again in peace and privacy. 

I found this blog early in my pregnancy and it put words to so many things I felt. I think it goes a little further than I would, but the bare bones are such great ideas. 

I'm not saying I think every visitor who comes to my house should come expecting to clean and not be spoken to, without getting to hold the baby. I just ask that everyone be respectful of the time they spend and please try to be somewhat helpful without expecting me to entertain you or let you hold my baby for long periods of time. Have patience with me, because I'm going to be on an emotional roller coaster and most likely will not have patience for anyone. 

The Good Parts

Last week I posted about the bad things we experience during pregnancy. Let's be honest, there are things about being pregnant that aren't awesome. It's not all rainbows and bunnies. 

That doesn't mean I'm miserable the entire time or I don't enjoy the experience. It's just honesty. I'm at the point right now where I would so much rather have a baby in my arms than my abdomen. I'm just ready to get on with it, not feel anxious about what's going to happen or where my husband will be when it does. I'm ready for him to get here so Archer can get used to life with our new family so he can stop feeling anxious about his place in life. I am, and I don't really think that's bad.

I also will miss this entire experience. This will be our last baby, or at least my last pregnancy. If we could adopt some day, we might, but it will all depend on where we are financially in 10 years. I love being pregnant, like I said, I really don't have such a terrible time. I'm not throwing up the entire first few months, I don't have horrible symptoms, and I love feeling a little tiny person growing inside me. 

It makes me sad to know once he's out, I'll never feel a little foot kick again. Getting to experience being pregnant is amazing, and I'm fully aware that it's something denied to so many. It breaks my heart for them because it really is something great. I don't take it for granted even when I'm ready for a baby instead of a belly. 

Surprises!!

Having online friends (most of whom you've never met) is a really crazy experience. You get to meet these people from all over the country (and world) with completely different world views, values, and skills. 

As it turns out, I have this friend who can knit (and crochet, and sew and is overall crafty). 

A few months ago I found this adorable little fox newborn prop, and since baby's room is decorated in woodland creatures, emphasis on adorable little foxes, I decided I needed it. I talked to my friend who can knit, and we talked about her making it, etc. That was before I quit my job and had less realistic expectations of what I should be spending considering I was about to be income-less. 

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I found a little fox ear hat and decided that I would be satisfied with that. I needed to spend a little less money and the hat was an adorable compromise. So again, I messaged my friend and she said she could definitely do it, no big deal and she would get started on it soon. 

She was done asap, and shipped it out. It arrived in the mail today. 

Is this not the most adorable hat you've ever seen? (Just say yes)

But as I was pulling out the hat, I noticed there was something else in the envelope. Turns out my friend, my sweet amazing friend also made the adorable newborn photo prop as well. 

Doesn't she know suprising pregnant people makes them cry? (I didn't take a picture of that. lol)

I am so excited and SO blessed to have received such a gift! I will make sure to take lots of pictures of my sweet baby boy in his adorable little prop and post them up in his room for all to see. It's wonderful and amazing! Thanks Devin! 

(Devin has an etsy shop that does custom orders and has some products in stock. She does an amazing job. I'm planning to order a hat for big brother now too. :))

Change of plans

Last October I learned about the BlogHer  conference . Because I'm interested in writing and blogging and I love NYC I was seriously considering going. They have a student rate, which is amazing and was seriously almost too goo to pass up. I almost booked my flights in December. I was thinking it would be an amazing time away for me, in a place that I love, learning about something that I enjoy and hopefully getting some new passion for blogging. Thank goodness I didn't, since you shouldn't fly at 35 weeks pregnant. :\ 

I also considered driving up to Pennsylvania to spend some time with Chance while he was at work, and then spend his time off up there. We even talked about getting a house on a lake and seriously spending the entire summer there. Again, pregnancy really changes plans doesn't it? 

The beginning of this summer was full of drama for me and I again considered driving up to PA and spending a few weeks away, but it's just too hard to do pregnant and alone with a 3 year old. I couldn't justify spending a ton of money on hotels and eating out when I had so much baby stuff to buy. 

While I regret missing some of those experiences, I'm so glad for the time I've had at home with Archer this summer. We drive each other crazy, but it's been great. Hopefully once I go back to work my sweet, loving husband will take me to NYC for my birthday (hint, hint). 

But the point of my post is, it's amazing how plans can change, and yet I'm getting rewarded with something so much better. A lifetime of happiness and memories that will most definitely beat out a few summer fun trips. I always try to be happy with whatever may happen, because it was meant to be. Whatever happens is what should have happened, in my mind. 

I'm ready for this new adventure and will take cancelled plans over it anytime. :)

The Bad Parts

Because I didn't really remember this part, I wanted to document it.

Sometimes pregnancy isn't all it's cracked up to be. I was lucky both times with morning sickness. I almost feel guilty sometimes when I see my friends struggling to sit upright without throwing up, because I rarely (if ever) threw up.

I love being pregnant (most of the time) but here are the parts I hate about being pregnant: The part where my tummy is so heavy it hurts my back to walk around. The part where I get up 5 times night to pee, even if I limit my fluids after 8. The part where I pee, then stand up and have to pee again, repeatedly. The part where I feel dehydrated if I don't drink gallons a day. The part where toast gives me heartburn. The part where my hormones are so out of whack I cry for no reason, or I feel overwhelmed for no reason so I cry. The part where getting up off the floor after sitting requires and crane lift. The part where I can't sleep because no position is comfortable or once I am comfortable, baby isn't so he flops around until I move.

Did I mention not being able to sleep? That really is the worst part because you know you are about to be without sleep on a regular basis but you can't get comfortable or your brain just won't turn off. Oh, I almost forgot. The restless legs. If you've never had restless legs you're missing out, it's fun. Mine start just after a positive pregnancy test and last until the end. It's awesome.

I know I will miss experiencing all of this some day, but just in case I think I want to do it again, I want to remember all the bad stuff too. The fun stuff is so easy to remember, but I really don't think our brains have the capacity for all the bad stuff. If we did, we wouldn't do it over and over.