You're a what?

After the breast feeding doll, and ensuing comments, I've come to realize something new about myself. Don't you hate when that happens, by the way? When you realize something so major about the basic makeup of your character that you didn't already know.

Did I tell you I'm 25, it feels late to have such major realizations...I take that back, the reason I'm 25 and just realizing these things is mostly because I'm just as new to them as they are to me. It's funny that they say people don't change, but I am here to tell you, I have.

I'm like a 150 degree turn around from the me I was 10 years ago, and sometimes I wonder where that came from. As it turns out, I'm pretty liberal. I was not at 15. I was uber-conservative. It's funny what a bit of college at a *liberal* arts school will do for that. It's even funny, though not a bit humorous at some of the things I cared about then. I truly cared about some really touch subjects that I won't mention here; and by cared, I mean as though it affected me in anyway what other people put in their bodies, had done to their bodies, etc. Now, not only do I not care, (I don't care so much I'm almost apathetic to the rest of the human race, that doesn't directly affect my life in some way.) but I don't just don't think it matters.

My super conservative self would have said, but what about the long-term effects it may have down the road? Your child has to grow up in this world. Yeah, well, that's fine. I will raise my child with the values system I have, instill his brain with a moral code that's fairly strict, and then reinforce that learning with my own behaviors. However, I'm not going to teach my child the very sheltered point of views that I learned growing up in a Baptist church. No, I'm not slamming the Baptists, I think we have come a long way in this much more modern world. Christians in general for that matter. But my point is, I want my child to be able to witness, be an upstanding Christian boy (man, husband, father, etc) without feeling the need to judge, condescend, or treat others not of his faith differently. Coexisting is necessary in this day and age; and the more friends you have at the bottom, the more you can reach out to.

Back on topic. I'm not so conservative anymore to think that breast feeding has anything to do with Disney Princesses dressing like hookers or not being able to learn that beauty is on the outside. I'm not so naieve to think that if I or a friend is breast feeding in my home or their own that my child doesn't need to know what that is. I would much rather invite questions than not. I would much rather my child, and any of his friends know what breast feeding is, why we do it, etc so that they can support their wives, girlfriends, etc when they reach that point in their lives because that is so important. It's not taboo, it's feeding a baby for heaven's sake. It's not a grown up activity, it's not something to be ashamed of, or teach our children to be ashamed of.

Neither is sex, by the way. That doesn't mean I'll be comfortable doing it, but it's still important to me that my child understand the basics, the whys and (ick) hows, and most importantly how to do it safely once he is ready to learn about it. I'm pretty sure I would hate for him to be the last kid on the playground to know what he'll be doing with his penis in (hopefully) 15 years. Because, let me assure you, it's not a comfortable thing to be the only kid who doesn't know. And it's most definitely not comfortable to be the kid who has to ask the other kids stupid questions because you don't know what happens and you don't want to talk to your parents because they might accuse you of having sex. I remember this girl in HS asking just mortifying questions, and I had to fight to keep from 1)giggling at her and 2) telling everyone of my friends who didn't hear the questions in the first place, because this girl did not need to be asking the things she asked. (To answer you wonderings, No, human penises don't look slimy like dog ones, ok.)

I guess my point is, there are still things that it's ok to be conservative about, but there are times when it's necessary to learn, talk about, educate, and be open to something that you really didn't think you ever would be.

Look, it's 3 days later, and I'm still hung up on those hideous facebook comments. I got so totally off track that I'm not even sure how I ended up where I did, and I definitely don't know how I got here. Don't you hate when you're driving down the road, and you're where you were supposed to be. Somehow, your brain drove you there with you basically being on co-pilot the whole time. It's kind of like that today for me.